Webside HUMOUR
Long wait

Sam had just proposed marriage to the love of his life and she had turned him down.

"If you don’t marry me immediately," he threatened, "I’ll go to the lake, cut a hole in the ice, dive in and drown myself."

"Why this is May. The ice won’t cover the lake for eight months."

"O.K., then I’ll wait."

The teacher said, "Take a pencil and paper and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire.’

Everyone but Joe, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write feverishly.

"What’s the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don’t you begin?"

"I’m waiting for my secretary," Joe replied.

"I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. "You will bring me down safely, won’t you?

"All I can say ma’am," said the pilot, "is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!"

Wife: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight".

Husband: "Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on".

Nurse: "Good morning, Mr Smith, you seem to be coughing much more easily this morning".

Mr Smith: "That’s because I’ve been practicing all night".

A sad-faced man walked into a flower shop early one morning. From the look of him the clerk thought he was to order for a funeral piece, but soon realised his assumption was wrong as the man asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary.

"And what day will that be?" the clerk asked.

Glumly he replied, "Yesterday."