The Tribune, Chandigarh, India - The Tribune Lifestyle

Sense and sensitivity
Raveena Tandon, who was in the city on Wednesday, was in no mood for nonsense
Manpriya Khurana

For those who've seen her movies, she stands for the unapologetically commercial and true-blue Bollywood of nineties. Even today, Raveena Tandon shows up in moods as varied as the movies she's been a part of - posing and praising generously one minute and moving out of the conference just as abruptly as she's ushered in!

"I love Chandigarh, leave no opportunity of coming here…love the culture and especially saag and makhan. In fact, even in future you'll see more and more of me, so please don't get excited," in the city for the launch of VLCC's new slimming, beauty and fitness centre, Raveena Tandon, actor, starts off in chaste Hindi. And on an upbeat note, gives her due to the brand she's the ambassador of. "I'm really grateful to VLCC for giving me an opportunity to come down here. In fact, I'm grateful to them for not just the services but also the emotional support. "After my babies, I had put on so much of weight that I hated to look at myself in the mirror. I gradually shed my extra kilos with their techniques and services."

As of now, she's playing the brand ambassador role to perfection. "Why we chose Raveena was because she's juggled so many roles to perfection, she's mother to two children and has still kept herself fit," chips in Vandana Luthra, founder of VLCC.

It was only so long till some one quips the inevitable - it's been little while since she appeared in films. "This year you'll see me in a couple of movies. I have 'Buddha' with Amitji; then there's a comedy coming up called 'Patel Rap' and a couple of more. But I don't know which movie will wind up earlier and which one will release first." She adds, 'But yes, this year onwards I'll start signing films so you'll see me in more and more of them." In the pipeline are also a comedy and a television stint both rolled into one titled 'Comedy ka Muqabla'. "For me comedy is something that you can watch and have a good laugh at while sitting with your family. I like clean fun. Double meaning dialogues, puns or vulgar comedy is not for me."

Were her answers interspersed with 'Please ask me sensible questions?' Or, did the mild March heat play spoilsport? She parts with a "It's too hot in here." Nevertheless, her fans can catch up in her upcoming releases!

manpriya@tribunemail.com

At work, keep emotions at bay
Deepali Sagar

You can be the best of friends, greatest pals, mushy lovers or just colleagues, work is one place where you have to wear practicality on your sleeve and keep emotions and feelings at bay. "One has to be very careful on the relationship front at work. We are under constant supervision and can't afford to take chances," says Garima Prashar, a software engineer. Here are some reasons why one should be extra-cautious at the workplace.

Gossip spreads faster

"You get comfortable with someone and the news travel faster than the speed of light. Then you have to answer the unwanted questions. Many times you are not even questioned, but you still have to deal with the stares," says Radhika Chauhan, HR professional.

Keep a low profile

"I am dating my colleague for some time now and we both have decided not to talk about our relationship in office. It's not that we are afraid of something, but we don't want to be judged," says Vikram Khullar, a media professional.

Complications grow

The moment something is wrong ,the life of everyone around gets complicated. "I recently had a fight with my associate. Now the scene is such that our common friends have to be very cautious in dealing with us together. Nobody says it, but the situation is pretty tense," says Alka Jaitely, a BPO worker.

Various groups

'You are my friend'; 'did we even invite her?' 'Don't get too personal with him, he is friend ofour boss' - in-groups and out-groups are so common at a workplace. We have them since the school days. "They are common at workplaces. Even though there are no written rules on the entry, no one appreciates if somebody tries to tag along," says Vrinda Joshi, a banker.

Aprajita closer to her dream

When she made it to the 100 semi-finalists from over 10,000 applicants, there was a reason to be happy for her. Now, when she graduated from the 100 semi-finalists to the top 16 finalists, she is ecstatic and at the same time nervous. "In fact, I am more nervous than happy. The feeling of getting a step closer to the my childhood dream is yet to sink in," says the 19-year-old Aprajita Sharma, from the city, who's has her fingers crossed for the finals of the Miss India contest.

An amateur model, Aprajita knows the journey ahead is a tough one. "I know the judges have selected the best of the lot and I will have to put my best foot forward. Even if I do not win the crown, I will gain a lot from the experience." She has walked the ramp for Vikram Phadnis, Satya Paul and Leena Tipnis. "Modeling is plan B for me but I don't want to think about it right now. My focus is on the contest as of now" And how is she preparing for it? "By keeping fit and being positive about winning the crown." — TNS

It's all in your caller tune!
Jasmine Singh

Is a caller tone just about getting your favourite tune at a monthly rent of Rs 20 or something beyond? Can it tell what situation you are in or your state of mind? Do you reveal yourself through a song? Celebrities share what makes them select a particular tone.

Mood mirror

A tone says so much about what we are; I would rather keep it a secret, but people do have preferences for certain tones. Those in love like to go in for romantic songs. Those who are heart-broken prefer sad songs or keep a nasty ring tone or something that sounds sarcastic. The old ones prefer religious tones and middle-aged are generally confused about ring tones; they keep whatever is available.— Bhagwant Mann, comedian

Banish negativity

'Abhi kuch dinoo sey' from the movie 'Dil Toh Bacha Hai Ji' is what Nalin has as his caller tune. "It reflects my mood and personality. When I am going through a bad patch I prefer a religious tune. This way when my enemy calls they get purified and no negativity reaches me. Jokes apart, while I was shooting for Hitler, I had Vande Matram as my tune, which would help me get into the mood as well.— Nalin Singh, actor

State of mind

'Sahi Galat ko mara' a dialogue from the movie 'Tashan' is my caller tune. This says what I am - following my own way, creating my own rules. The caller tune can change the day I feel like sending some other message out. It is purely a state of mind.— Sudhanshu Pandey, anchor

Pep talk

'Mil gaye aaj asmaan sey' from 'Guzaarish'...I don't want the person calling me to get bored. So, a good entertaining dance number is what I have as a caller tune. Rest, it is of course a reflection of a part of my mood. On my Mumbai number, I have 'Sai' by Sartaj as the caller tune. So, I select my tunes every 5-6 months keeping in mind that it should be some nice number or anything that has a nice message.— Pooja Tandon, actor

Regular is boring

'Lak 28 Kudi Da' from the movie 'Lion of Punjab' is my caller tune. I called up Punjabi singer Diljit Dosanjh who had this caller tune, pressed 'star' and got it on my cell. So, caller tunes are fun. I call my sister to listen to funny caller tunes that she has. Basically, the idea is to listen to something nice than the regular 'tring tring'. — Vindu Dara Singh, actor

Give daughters an edge over sons: Ranbir

Bollywood star Ranbir Kapoor says his sister Riddhima had an edge over him because she is a girl and hopes every girlchild in the country is lucky enough to enjoy that kind of importance in the family. He also welcomes women's empowerment in filmdom.

"On International Women's Day I salute my mother for the values which she imbibed in my sister Riddhima and me. She taught us by example that men and women are equal. In fact, in my case I believe that Riddhima had an edge over me because she is a girl! I wish that to happen to every girlchild in India...," said Ranbir.

"I would like all parents to give their daughters an edge over their sons, to make up for all the years in our society, where girls have been treated as less then boys," he added.

Ranbir says that International Women's Day is important because it celebrates the struggle of women to get their due.

"Of course, I agree that every day should be celebrated as Women's Day but to have a symbolic day is important because it brings focus to an issue that needs attention. In the film industry too things are changing.

"Todays heroines are far more free to lead the lives they wish to. Marriage and kids do not stop a Kajol or a Madhuri Dixit to be coveted by filmakers. It's a welcome change and I'm for empowerment of women because I believe that's good for our society," said the 28-year-old.

Thanks to his association with Shabana Azmi and her Mijwan Welfare Society (MWS), Ranbir is now an active participant in the betterment of conditions for the collective development of the girl child. "We need to give the girlchild equal opportunity to the male child. I am happy that Mijwan Welfare Society an NGO in Azamgarh, UP, founded by Kaifi Azmi Saheb and now run by Shabana Azmi and Namrata Goyal, is working to transform the lives of girls in rural India. — IANS

JLo and P Diddy to reunite on American Idol

Their volatile relationship and break-up had grabbed headlines a decade ago and now Jennifer Lopez and P Diddy will reunite on the hit talent show American Idol.

(L-R) Jennifer Lopez and P Diddy

The hip-hop mogul will be musical mentor on the TV show judged by the singer-actor and said that he is proud of Lopez, who is compassionate to the aspiring singers.

"The way Jennifer handled coming after Simon, and even myself from Making the Band and the way we were hard coaches, she's been a compassionate person," said the artiste whose real name is Sean Combs."She's made me cry like, twice, and she's looked good doing it.

And she's made sense so, you know, I'm proud of her.

It's good to see that change in the competitive shows. I think she's very refreshing," said the 41-year-old.Diddy will serve as a musical mentor on American Idol during next week's live shows.

Lopez, 41 and Diddy began dating in 1999 but the high profile relationship ended two years later soon after they were both arrested over a nightclub shooting in New York.

Diddy is still single while Lopez has gone ahead and got married to Latin singer Marc Anthony, with whom she has two children. — PTI

Lara Croft to return to the big screen

The beautiful archaeologist-adventurer Lara Croft is all set to return to the big screen.Producer Graham King is rebooting the Tomb Raider' franchise, which starred Angelina Jolie in the previous two movies.

But the producers are planning an origin story which means they will be searching for a fresh face to play the athletic heroine.

The new film is aimed at a 2013 release. King and Tim Headington will produce via their GK Films banner, which announced Monday that it had acquired feature rights from Japanese vidgame company Square Enix Ltd. "We are very excited to be rebooting what is already a hugely successful film franchise and continuing the Tomb Raider phenomenon," King said.The 15-year-old vidgame franchise is one of the most popular in the world, with with more than 35 million game units sold worldwide.Paramount produced a pair of films — 2001's Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and 2003's Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life both starring Jolie as the British archaeologist. — PTI

Mel Gibson flies to Gautemala for charity work

Hollywood star Mel Gibson, who is set to face the court over charges of domestic violence, has flown to Guatemala for a charity trip.

The Brave Heart star is at the centre of a court battle with ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, who alleged that the actor was physically abusive towards her, following their bitter split last year.

But Gibson is refusing to let his troubled personal life get in the way of philanthropy and travelled to Central America to boost a campaign to save the country's rainforest.

The actor is battling Grigorieva over custody of their baby daughter Lucia, with the Russian singer accusing Gibson of attacking her during a heated argument in January, 2010. — PTI

Fashion, my foot!
Jigyasa Kapoor Chimra

Footwear - It's a fashion staple no woman can do without, a statement that makes or mars a personality. No wonder someone quite rightly said - shoes showcase a personality!

And with the winter chill giving way to summer heat, the season calls not only for shedding of layers of wool, but also freedom from shoes and socks. Though some of the trends this season are mere interpretation of last year's main ones, couturiers have chosen quality, simplicity and easy-to-wear styles for this season. If we were to analyse what's in store for our city shoe buffs, the spring summer 2011 sees a lot of strappy stuff (read lace, fabric straps and even knotted laces). An interesting and highly creative idea, the trend has a global presence and be found in the collections of some of the most famous designers like Diane von Furstenberg, Alexander Wang and Christian Dior.

In colours it's near nudes, purple, yellow, midnight blue, asphalt, dark green, deep red and berry shades that inject life into the so-called dull footwear.

Though flats would rule the footwear trend this season, an interesting style that we noticed was an unusual type of heels: Flatforms — a smart combination between wedges and flats. It can be the ultimate solution for those who want to look stylish all the time but not lose their comfort in the process, which is often the case with many stylish shoes.

Talking of heels, stilettos and pumps are here to stay but just like clothes the trend of 50's and 60's is ruling. And it brings back kitten heels into the limelight. Pointy toes is still in this season, so are the classic lines. From rounded oval shapes to shortened and square-toe styles to the so-called iron tips, it's either flats or trendy heels for this summer.

Lending us some footwear trend tips, Swati Mehrotra, footwear designer, says, "We see a lot of nude and cool colours in footwear this season. Straps are in, so are flip-flops. Fabric in footwear is a real hot trend that we will witness this summer. Right from raw silk to satin, we will see a lot of crochet and lace as well. For heels it's either wedges or flats that would be ruling the roost."

Style check

* Wedges continue to be part of spring 2011 collections. High they may be, but actually wedge heels are surprisingly comfortable.

Check out: Woodland probably has the most stylish wedges available in the city.

* Kitten heels are a much more comfortable alternative to stilettos. Lending a little lift to an outfit, it is the best alternative to its big sister — the high heel.

Check out: Shoe Tree, Drish and Tashi in Sector-17.

* One of the best things about spring and summer collections is that they always feature pretty ballet flats and bejewelled sandals. This year also the flat sandal is the must-have.

Check out: Pantaloons in Zirakpur, Metro, Bata and Mochi in Sector 17.

* Faltforms are the 'new kid on the block' in terms of footwear shapes. They are exactly what they appear, a ballet flat elevated on a high platform heel, held on by an ankle strap.

Check out: Shoe tree-17

Blue suede shoes? Clean them right

Remember the Elvis Presley cult hit, "You can do anything but lay off my blue suede shoes"? Well, if you love your suede or leather footwear as much, here's expert advice on how to keep them in good shape.

In a country that consumes 95 per cent of its leather footwear production, maintenance is important. Be it dust stains and black scuff marks on leather boots or flattened suede, a little care can go a long way in preserving your favourite winter shoes.

"For packing away leather boots, it is important to wipe off the dust properly, especially from the soles. Make sure you clean it with damp cloth, then stuff the shoes either with shoe trees or tissue paper. Wrapping them in a non-woven bag with naphthalene balls is also the ideal way," says footwear designer Swati Mehrotra of SwatiModo.

Space crunch is another factor to be considered while preserving your stylish and expensive footwear.

"First and foremost don't stack boots with any other footwear. Place loosely crushed paper inside the boots to provide strength in case you don't own boot jacks," said Geetika Handa, who owns a dozen pairs of leather boots.

Suede boots are expensive and difficult to care for and cannot be cleaned with water. In fact, the weather can transform the smooth, velvety surface to make it harsh and uneven.

Special kits are available to clean leather and suede shoes. Or, you can buy a battery-powered leather cleaning kit that has everything - applicator brush, polishing brush and buffing pads.

Before packing away suede shoes, make sure they are clean and dry. To maintain the shape, use boot shapers, wrap the shoes in tissue paper or a soft piece of cloth and put them in a shoe box. Always keep them away from humidity and sunlight. — IANS

Home away from home
Deepali Sagar

Home…the word ushers in a rush of nostalgia - dad's glare, sumptuous food, bickering amongst siblings and above all the unending affection! Apart from these, friends, known addas and mohallas, and even the common dialect makes you feel like you belong to a place; but what do you do when one is forced to leave behind home and be a part of an alien world? Let's hear it from some students who feel at home even being far away from it.

Norlina(middle) with her friends

Adjustment problems

"Initially it was very difficult to adjust. Apart from feeling homesick, it was one major cultural shock. No matter what you do, you are always under scrutiny. Moreover, coming from a different country made me an outcast amongst locals as they had their own prejudices towards me," says Norlina, history department student, who belongs to Malaysia. However, for some being away from home was a smooth sail. "I just had to deal with the homesickness. Other than that, people were very supportive and I never felt left out or alienated," says Stephen Aldo from Hong Kong, student of mathematics department. Agrees Cathy Dolma, who comes from Singapore, "My biggest challenge was to deal with homesickness; the very thought of home made me very emotional."

The way out

It is rightly said when sadness knocks at your door, down it with drinks and friends! "Whenever I felt low, I accompanied my friends to our favourite hangout place, Sukhna Lake. Apart from that I regularly go clubbing to unwind myself," says Aldo. For Norlina, shopping does the trick. "I go out shopping once every couple of week. Besides, hitting the mall for a movie or for random window-shopping is another great way to relieve your nerves. It's like meditation for me."

Second home

No matter initially everybody faced adjustment problems, but today this city is like their second home. "Chandigarh has become a home away from home for me. My friends here make me feel like I belong here. Moreover, this place has adopted me," says Cathy. Aldo feels the same "I don't feel homesick anymore. I don't feel like going home anymore. I have amazing friends with amazing families who have gladly accepted me. Besides, Chandigarh is now my second home."

Good shot

Fujifilm India Pvt Ltd is all set to introduce FinePix AV 200 following the huge success of the company's 2010 range of FinePix 'A' series cameras. The feature-packed camera combines a good-all-round feature-set with affordability and is perfect for beginners who want a simple point and shoot digital camera.

The AV200 has resolution sensors and combines top quality Fujinon optics with high sensitivity settings to deliver sharp, clear images irrespective of the shooting conditions. The model also features Digital Image Stabilisation technology to compensate for an image blur caused by a handshake or subject movement, and ensures you always get a great picture.

The model also comes with various other intuitive features like Scene Recognition Auto mode, which intelligently detects your scene type and shooting conditions and is able to optimize the camera's focus, exposure and white balance to achieve perfect results.

Price: Rs 5,499

— TNS

Love or money?
Deepali Sagar

Love creates magic', 'It is the best thing that can happen to anyone' or 'If I just get love, I don't need anything else'… come on let's get real. So, just as the renowned Hindi dialogue goes 'pyaar se pet nahi bharta', one has to be rational when choosing between love and money! We talk to some youngsters.

Money talks

"Love can happen anytime, but even to sustain a relationship one needs money. No girl would like to date a guy who can't pay her bills. It's no more the age of morals and values," says Mayank Sharma, UIET student.

Dough heavy

"For me, life starts and ends with money. I believe its money that lays the foundation for all relationships. People like to be associated with those who are successful. Likewise, money begets love. So, why not run after money?" says Sahil Kapoor from UBS.

Love Bird

"I would pick love. I believe one needs money just to sustain, whereas love is the essence of life. Life becomes monotonous if we don't have loved ones to share our success ," says Aadil Bhatt, a Mass Communication student.

Money+love= bliss

"I want both. Life won't be complete without any one of them. One needs emotional as well as material support. So, rather than choosing, I would prefer both," says Shainaini Dhamija from PU sociology department.

Cheating spouse?
...Voice pitch holds the key

Beware! Your voice could give you away if you are likely to cheat on your spouse or partner, says a new study.

Women believe the lower a man's voice, the more likely he's going to cheat, just as men think that a high pitched woman tends to be unfaithful.

"We found that men and women will use voice pitch as a warning sign of future betrayal," said Jillian O'Connor, graduate student in psychology at McMaster University, Canada, who led the study.

"So the more attractive the voice - a higher pitch for women and lower pitch for men — the more likely the chances he or she will cheat," adds O'Connor.

"Infidelity is costly with the emotional impact, financial costs and potential loss of the family unit," she says.

"But this suggests that through the evolutionary process, we have learned ways to avoid partners who may be unfaithful as a protection mechanism," she says.

Study participants were asked to listen to two versions of recorded clips from a male voice and a female voice, which were electronically manipulated to be both higher and lower in pitch.

They were then asked which one, from each pair, was more likely to cheat sexually on their romantic partner.

"The reason voice pitch influences perceptions of cheating is likely due to the relationship between pitch, hormones and infidelity," explains David Feinberg, assistant professor in psychology, neuroscience and study advisor.

"Men who have higher testosterone levels have lower pitched voices, and women who have higher estrogen levels have higher pitched voices.

"High levels of these hormones are associated with adulterous behaviour and our findings indicate individuals are somewhat aware of the link and may use this in their search for a romantic partner," Feinberg concludes.

— IANS

Modern marital itch

Forget the 'seven-year-itch', the breaking point for most couples comes after three years, says a new research. The pressures of modern life means more than ever partners take each other for granted, argue and lose sexual appetite.

And many couples are increasingly giving each other a "pass" to pursue their own interests or take solo holidays.

"Traits and habits that are often endearing when we first start to see someone can often blow up into major irritations around the three-year mark. How you deal with these niggles will play a key part in whether a relationship survives," says relationship expert Judi James.

Judi added: "Often something that may appear trivial such as snoring can become a major stress point but if you can get past these niggles and communicate openly then there is no reason why a couple should not go the distance." Judi compared long-lasting relationships with short-term ones of less than three years.

Long-term couples argue for an average of 2.7 hours every week - nearly six days of conflict a year - more than double the 1.2 hours of newer partners.

Judi's research found that the top 10 passion-killers were their partner's weight gain, meanness with money, bad hygiene and antisocial working hours.

These were followed by the other half's relatives, lack of romance, drinking too much, snoring, poor dress sense and bad bathroom habits. She found that tensions tend to increase significantly at the 36-month mark. — ANI

Top 10 passion-killers

n Partner's weight gain

n Meanness with money

n Bad hygiene

n Antisocial working hours

n Other half's relatives

n Lack of romance

n Drinking too much

n Snoring

n Poor dress sense

n Bad bathroom habits

Relatively speaking
Festival of colours
Friends make it fun

Holi always used to fall during my exam days. In my final year of graduation, I thought of staying at home and studying, but that was not to be the case. My friends came over and put me in their colour-packed car that was full of vuvuzelas, water balloons, 'gulaal' and munchies to chew upon. We had amazing fun blowing horns, playing Holi songs, colouring each other's faces, even with mud, so that nobody could even recognise us. We played pranks on each other while maintaining the love and respect. That was the best Holi I ever had. The festival has never been the same again as I went abroad for higher studies and in London no one even knew what Holi is. I still miss that fun and wish all my friends a very happy and joyous Holi.

Vineet Kapoor , Panchkula

Picnic time

My favourite Holi memory goes back to 1986, while serving in the Indian Air Force. It was planned that all personnel of the unit and their families will go for a picnic on the day. A place known as 'jayanti hills' was selected and it was a spectacle to watch people from different states and faiths applying gulal on each other with fervour. The ball was set rolling with a game of tambola. Meanwhile, the cooking party (all men) served hot breakfast. (It was pre-decided that during the entire picnic no lady would cook or serve). Quiz contest for children and other sports events were organised. Delicious lunch was served on banana tree leaves. During the return trip, one of our vehicles got stuck in sand, which was pushed out with the combined efforts of the picnic party. The memory is still fresh in my mind.

Harbans Singh, Ambala Cantt

Fun & frolic

Holi is the time to develop understanding and love for each other. The previous Holi was the one that I enjoyed a lot. We celebrated the festival to the hilt. The party started in the morning and continued till four in the evening. I am looking forward to a better Holi this time around.

Dr Vinod Sharma, Panchkula

Renee writes
Thank God for his blessings

Dear Renee, I am all of 38 years and leading a great life. I have a wonderful husband, two lovely kids in school and a great home. Some people say, 'your problem is - you have no problem'. May be this is true. But now recently I have started developing a sense of restlessness and inadequacy. Whenever I am at a party or with people they always ask 'what are you doing' and when I say nothing, they give that very strange look and stranger 'oh'. I have started feeling the pressure to do something now. I feel that a person is respected in society if he or she is doing something. Please suggest what to do.

Anya Bajaj, Patiala

I think you are lucky and blessed that you can get away in life without a job. Believe me lots of women would love to be in your shoes, no matter what they might be saying. Why should you feel embarrassed or inadequate if you are not working? Being a housewife honestly is a job in itself. Your answer to the question 'what are you doing' should be 'I am a homemaker'. Running a beautiful home and taking care of two growing kids is a full-time occupation anyways. So do not stress over other people's opinions and think for yourself. If the restlessness still continues please join some social group where you can go for two hours to help for a social cause that will give you some satisfaction. Just relax and enjoy yourself and thank God for this many blessings.

Sort out gently

I am a 41-year-old man, married with a six-year-old daughter. I work in Gurgaon while my wife lives with my family in Patiala. We enjoy a fairly good relationship. I feel that she is pushing my child too much. She seems to be obsessed with making her a star. She wants her to shine in sports, singing, dancing, academics and what not. I am worried that my child has no time to enjoy herself. I also have started holding a grudge against her for this. I wish she would go easy. Whenever I come for the weekend, I see her driving the child from one class to another in the evenings. It seems she is competing with other moms with the way they are bringing up their kids. I feel her quest for our child's best is ruining our marriage. Please help.

Arun Juneja, Chandigarh

I do so understand your situation. This looks like an uncomfortable scenario. Your wife seems to be the new generation mom which is obsessive about living up to the Jones. Also, I have seen a lot of parents living their own dreams through their kids. I am glad you are noticing this well in time. If a child continues extra curricular at this hectic pace, he or she will be highly stressed. These days there is a whole new breed of over stressed kids, thanks to ambitious parents. Do sit and have a heart to heart chat with your wife. Try and take one of her friends into confidence, explain the situation to her and try to allow her friend to give her some friendly advice on the subject. May be your wife is using this as an excuse to get away from the house. Discuss this with her gently. Give her a lot of love and emotional support and gently handle the situation.

Count yourself lucky

I am a 23-year-old guy studying in an engineering college. I have been in a relationship with a girl ever since we both took admission. She is a popular person in the college. She has lots of friends. She takes part in all dramas, debates and other extra-curricular activities. I am shy and quiet by nature and do not mix up too much with people. Now she has told me that she is going to another town to take part in a sports event. I am not happy about this. Honestly, I am jealous, as I know she will meet lots of people. I have asked her not to participate but she will not listen and now we are not on talking terms. I am very upset.

Pradeep Kataria, Nangal

You sound like a jealous husband. People travel all over the world for sports, work and other reasons. You cannot be controlling your friend's life. You are lucky that your girlfriend is so talented and accomplished. You should be proud of her qualities. Instead of playing the jealous and injured party, play the supportive role. If you will talk to her and tell her that she should go and enjoy her sporting event, not only will she be happy she will also respect you far more and will develop a deep regard for you. I think having a woman like her is an asset in your life. Count yourself lucky young man that you have someone like her in your life.

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