Webside HUMOUR
Phone bill

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.

Dad: “This is unacceptable. You all have to limit the use of the phone”.

Daughter: “I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office”.

Mom: “Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone”.

Son: “Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile”.

Maid: “So what is the problem? We all use our WORK telephones”.

No chopsticks

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why.

The waiter said, “Chopsticks are provided only on request.”

“But,” the man countered, “if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn’t have to pay someone to wash all the forks.”

“True,” the waiter shot back, “but we will have to hire three more people to clean up the mess.”

Historic recall

Ms Crabtree had been telling her 1st grade class the story of the discovery of America by Columbus.

She concluded with, “And all this happened more than 500 years ago.”

“Wow!” exclaimed one student, “What a great memory you have!”

Baggage problem

The flight attendant watched a passenger try to stuff his hopelessly overloaded bags into the overhead bin. Finally she informed him that he would have to check the over-sized luggage.

“When I fly other airlines,” he said irritably, “I never have this problem!”

She smiled and said, “Sir, when you fly other airlines, I don’t have this problem either.”

Revealing the truth

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma