WEBSIDE HUMOUR

Kiss & tell

A husband posted outstation wrote to wife: "Sweetheart, I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending you 100 kisses".

His wife replied back after some days to her husband, "Dearest sweetheart, thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The milkman agreed on two kisses for one month’s milk.

2. The electricity man only agreed after seven kisses.

3. Your house owner is coming everyday and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.

4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him ‘some other’ items.

5. Other miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.

Please don’t worry about me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance. Shall I plan the same way for next months. Please advise!"

A property manager of a single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked.

"We’re a military family," the wife answered.

"Children?"

"Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly.

"Animals?"

"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They’re very well behaved."

Wife: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight".

Husband: "Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on".

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma