TELEPROMPT
Blot on SRK’s reputation
Mannika Chopra

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, you came back home after work and waited with baited breath to find out what was the latest angst to hit the Virani family, the only protagonist of the Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi serial. You de-stressed while watching the trials of Tulsi Virani as you worked out which member of the family had been reincarnated. You never asked why, because the logic really didn’t matter; after all, this was a soap.

Not now. Now all you want is a quick, easy to watch, short attention-span game show that tears you away from the revolution in Egypt and your beeping Blackberry for at least 10 minutes at a time — shows like You Have a Minute To Win it or for the more cerebral, KBC. And as of last week, we have a new kid on the block.

Welcome to the world of Zor Ka Jhatka (ZKJ). The newest franchise show airs on Imagine and widens the gap even further between inane and entertainment. This is a Tsunami-style game show in which contestants perform feats, which clearly border on physical abuse. It is anchored by none other than Shah Rukh Khan – last seen two years ago when he hosted Kya Aap Panchvi Class Se Tez Hain. That show, aired on Sony, sank without a trace, and I hope that ZKJ goes the same way.

The show is full of cheap jokes and lewd pelvic thrusts. Photo courtesy: Imagine

I hope because it is a blot on the reputation of SRK, the actor and the anchor. For one, he anchors the gruelling show, shot in Argentina, from the safe innards of a studio, far, far away. Mumbai, perhaps? This is cheating. And for another, the fault, my dear Brutus, lies in the script. No one can call it subtle, dignified or even witty. I don’t know if it is an extempore or prepared, but it is full of cheap jokes and lewd pelvic thrusts. Despite being a ‘family’ show, in order to entertain, SRK’s dialogues only hover around the crotch area — the big balls, one of the obstacles in the show, figures constantly.

Then there other numerous unnecessary innuendos like the quip on contestant, model Mink Brar, who the host refers to as a Wonder Brar. And what about GPL — the Grand Pichwade Laat? Grow up man, you can do better than this.

As for the stunts, this is punishing stuff for the spandex-clad celebs that include Vindu Dara Singh, Dara Singh’s son, wrestler Manoj Kumar and assorted former Miss Indias. It has definitely failed to get my vote of confidence but, hey, the masses may like it if they hunger to see SRK spew off-colour jokes.

Far more entertaining, the Filmfare Awards which aired on Sony. Hosts Imran Khan and Ranbir Kapoor did a fantastic job, especially their take-offs on film Guzarish, Dabangg and My Name is Khan. Essentially, it boiled down to mostly a song and dance routine but there were elements of great humour laced with some nasty comments. Thankfully, Sonu Nigam’s fantastic vocals — boy, are you blessed — were not overshadowed by his white suit and sadhu-style top knot, but it really was a tough competition.

As the financial year draws to a close every year, I watch personal finance programme on TV to see if I can pick up tips on where I should invest so that I can save on my taxes. I diligently take notes and just as diligently I do not act on the sage and infinitely wise advice trotted out by money gurus the likes of Monika Halankar and Maneesha Natrajan in Let’s Talk Money on NDTV Profit.

Despite the ultimate inertia, I have to say I enjoy watching this show as it tries to mystify the discomfiting subject of money. I like the fact that show’s experts give, what I feel, is competent advice. And more than that, I like that they are both women. Perhaps based on the American financial guru, Suze Orman who, over the years, has dished out tough love advice on how to save, scrape and accumulate your hard earned money.

As Valentine hovers around the corner, expect A-grade mushiness on both news and entertainment channels. Clearly, someone in Zee Studio has already been thinking. This week the movie channel aired Breakfast at Tiffany’s, that all-time classic. On the weekend you can see the mother of all romances — Love Story. Just equip yourself with a brand new tissue box.