Home away from home
Lohri is celebrated with great fervour in the region. But how do celebs from here celebrate it in tinsel town? Jigyasa Kapoor Chimra checks out

It's the spirited beats of dhol, energetic voices, mountains of moongfali, trays of gachak and ghee-dripping bhugga that usher in the harvest festival of Lohri. Celebrated big time in Punjab, this festival raises the temperature a degree higher with the lighting of traditional bonfire and mouth-watering munchies. And what sends the merriment quotient higher are the notorious lyrics and a bhangra swirl that comes alive with the enthralling dhol beats. Though people in the North celebrate the day with great fanfare, we ask the Punjabi actors in Mumbai how they celebrate Lohri away from home.

jigyasachimra@tribunemail.com

Get together

For actor Kulraj Randhawa, "Lohri is a festival that we Punjabis cannot miss celebrating. And along with friends, we hold a small party. Though there is no place to light a big bonfire, we do our bit with a small beacon at the roof-top." She adds, "We make use of the minimum and have a blast celebrating the day in a traditional way, with stuff like til, rewari, bhugga, and dhol beats."

"I associate Lohri with dhol beats, sunder mundriyan, packets of popcorns and mom telling me that the cold would be over after Lohri," she says.

Memories galore

"Mumbai and people of Maharashtra do not know anything about the festival of Lohri. But we Punjabis in Mumbai get together and host a small party. But I must say it's nowhere close to the Lohri celebrations back home in Punjab," says Angad Hasija, actor. Missing the bonfire, rounds around the fire, munching of moongfali, popcorn and gachak he says, "I miss the hullabaloo, people dressed in bright hues and children going from house to house asking for lohri. These are memories of my childhood that I hold close to my heart."

All work, no Play

For actor Vansh Bhardwaj, since the past four years Lohri has been all work and no play. "People in Mumbai have no clue about the festival of Lohri and the traditions associated with it. Since I shifted my base to Mumbai there have been no Lohri celebrations at my end," he says. Missing moongfali and tilpatti he says, "The cold weather and munching moongfali by the bonfire is what I miss most about Lohri." Remembering the biting cold and a blanket of fog he says, “Chandigarh is wonderful around Lohri and I miss my family the most.”

Gone astray

"Lohri has lost its charm and it has become like any other festival that gives people a reason to dance and drink," says actor Mangal Dhillon. He further adds, "Mumbai is a commercial city and for people living here any festival is an excuse to indulge in a party. All they would do in the name of festival is dress, dance and drink. I have hardly seen anyone celebrate the festival in a truly traditional manner with rituals in place." Taking about himself, he says, "I'm into spiritualism and when it comes to parties I am an outcast, so I have nothing to do for Lohri then read scriptures." Though he has no specific memories close to his heart, he says, "I was 10-years-old when we shifted our base from Punjab to the interiors of UP and in all my growing years I haven't seen the celebration closely. But today, I see old ladies trying to preserve the sanctity of the festival and youngsters flaunting it."

Mention not

Says model Aanchal Kumar, "No one in Mumbai associates with Lohri. The festival comes and goes, nobody even notices. It's unlike Punjab, where every household celebrates the festival in its own special way." She adds, "Though we have areas in Mumbai where we have Punjabi population and I have seen a few people light bonfire here, there is nothing very flamboyant." And how does she celebrate? "Since my family is not here, Lohri goes as a normal working day for me." Spelling her memories of the day, she says, "I always associate Lohri with my growing-up days; how kids used to come asking for Lohri and sing Lohri songs. And yes, I also miss binging on rewari and gachak.

Traditional beats
Jigyasa Kapoor Chimra

If the customer wants the dholi to be in traditional attire, we charge Rs 800 for a complete function. The cost is Rs 500 without the dress
If the customer wants the dholi to be in traditional attire, we charge Rs 800 for a complete function. The cost is Rs 500 without the dress." Raj Narang, Brass Band-18

A close cousin of dholak, dhol is an integral part of festivities in Punjab. And when it comes to Lohri, dholi and his dhol are a must have, as its their presence that sets up the mood for the festival.

Going back in time, the first evidence of dhol dates back to the 15th century in Ain-i-Akbari, which describes the use of dhol in the orchestra of the Moghul emperor Akbar. However, the term dhol may be different from the origin of the instrument itself. The word dhol is probably of Persian origin, derived from the words 'dohol' or 'duhul'.

The Indo-Aryan dhol appears in print in the treatise Sangitasara (around 1800 AD). And the images of dhol players also appear to be present in the bas relief carvings on Indian temple walls. Today it is a very popular folk drum of northern India (barring the advent of DJs and their console) and dholis are booked much in advance.

Says Raj Narang, from Brass Band in Sector 18, "The booking are done almost two months prior to Lohri. We have four dholis and all of them are booked for the day." Ask him what are the economics of booking a dholi and he says, "If the customer wants the dholi to be in traditional attire, we charge Rs 800 for a complete function. The cost is Rs 500 without the dress." Most dholis with city bands are not generation-trained artistes, but are youngsters from the Saanthi community. A handful of them are from Muzaffarnagar, Saharanpur and Bhagwanpura.

But for the really authentic dholis, we headed to Sector 15 in search of Dattaram, Rajkumar and Ashok. Unable to trace them, we got to know from the people in the market that Dattaram played the dhol for 35 years and passed on the sticks to his son Rajkumar, and grandson Ashok.

Having emerged as an instrument that Punjabis use as a symbol of their ethnic identity, we ask has the DJ damaged the popularity of dhol? "To some extent yes, but when it comes to traditions, festivals and marriages the presence of a dholi is a must. A DJ may or may not be present, but a dholi would surely be there," says Raj Narang.

Traditionally, the heads of dhol were made of goat-skin, but as the Punjabi dhol has gained popularity, plastic and other artificial material is being used. "The khal (skin) is difficult to manage," says Vijay Kumar, dholi from Phase I Mohali. Ask him why and he says, "If the khal gets torn it takes almost 10-12 days to repair it, but plastic can be changed in a few minutes." Is there any purpose of things like parandi? "These are tassels, an obligatory addition to dhol. Apart from serving the purpose of beautification these are usually attached to the tightening rings."

Ask him who are the takers of dhol in this age of electronica and Rock and he says, "Corporates definitely invite dholis on festivals and other functions."

So, what is he playing for Lohri? "The first one-hour is reserved for boliyan, then beats and then if people want we also play hit Bollywood numbers," he says. And the most popular boliyaan remain - Mukai da dana aana lei ke jana, and Hulle nee maiyee hulle.

Tune in to Lohri

Sunder mundriye hoye/ Tera kaun vichara hoye…Lohri is here and we are set for dhol beats, singing and much more. We check out what kind of music is being preferred by city folks.

"Lohri is all about traditional Punjabi music. People prefer music that gives them a feel of being at home even if they are away from it," says a salesman from Music World. But people also prefer latest Punjabi numbers. "The preferences are changing. Youngsters want music with which they can relate better," says a worker at Planet M. And among the hit albums are those by Sartaaj, rap songs by Honey Singh and other peppy numbers. Another Music World salesman says Hindi music has become quite popular, especially the dance numbers. So, this Lohri we are sure to get a combo pack of Yaaran Anmulle and Munni Badnaam Hui!

“Chandigarh is a place where you can find people from every corner of India. And all of them celebrate Lohri with equal fervour," says Saumya Dixit, a customer at Planet M. — Deepali Sagar

Sense and sensibility

Bollywood actor Emraan Hashmi, who will be soon seen for the first time in a romcom, says he was taken aback when director Madhur Bhandarkar offered him Dil Toh Baccha Hai Ji as he felt he did not fit the bill of romantic movies. "I was offered couple of romantic comedies earlier but I thought I don't fit the bill of fairy tale stories...the romance space that Bollywood generally tries to show. But in this film because of Madhur's sense of realism in it I wanted to be part of it," Emraan said.

"When I met Madhur I thought he would offer me films like Page 3 or so. I was wondering on which area of society he is making a film now, thought he would do something on the film industry. I was surprised and at the same time taken aback and thrown off when he told me about his new project, a romcom," the 31-year-old actor said.

The film also stars Ajay Devgn, Omi Vaidya, Shazahn Padamsee, Shruti Haasan and Shraddha Das in lead roles.

When asked if he was taking risk as this genre was not Madhur's forte, Emraan said, "I like to take risks. I want to taste different waters and do something new. I am comfortable doing risky subjects as with that you bring something new as an actor. The industry will want you to do those things that you are good or best at, but the audience wants to see different things." The actor, who is best known for his kissing scenes has earlier done dark and intense roles in films like Gangster, Jannat, and Once Upon A Time In Mumbai among others. — PTI

Changing for the better

James Franco has revealed that he had to change his approach to acting in recent years after realizing his argumentative attitude made him "unpleasant" and "hard to get along with" on film sets. The Spider-Man star admitted that his intense work ethic often strained relationships and impacted on his performances.

But Franco is adamant he has changed his ways and even though he still works hard, he is much more amiable. "I used to approach acting with a very antagonistic (attitude). I was very hard to get along with and it made working in film very unpleasant," he said.

"It also hurt my performances. Now I think about acting differently. I still work really hard, but for my own sanity— and everyone else's—I've had to surrender the results," the actor added. — ANI

Knot a deal

Hollywood actor Ashton Kutcher admitted he never takes his marriage with actor Demi Moore for granted and is always working to keep the relationship going.

The What Happens in Vegas star wed Moore in 2005 and while the pair are still blissfully happy, the 32-year-old hunk says it's important to try and make things better. "I'm constantly reminding myself, like, no matter how amazing my relationship is, keep working on it. Keep working on it and keep finding another level. Things can always get better, even when it's going great," said Kutcher.

The actor recently revealed he prefers to declare love for his 48-year-old spouse online. Kutcher thinks using social networking websites to send affectionate messages to Moore is no different to sending flowers to the workplace.

"Sending sweet nothings on twitter or Facebook is fun. In some ways, it's no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn't like to be publicly adored?" But he admitted a computer is no substitute for human contact. "When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us.

There's no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting." — PTI

Up in smoke!

Bollywood actor Kangana Ranaut fell prey to a 'joint' prank on the sets of her forthcoming film Tanu Weds Manu. The 23-year-old actor, who portrays the role of a free-spirited small town girl, had to smoke a joint for a scene. However, the unit spiked up her joint and Kangana smoked it without realising. But the actress felt sick after smoking the joint and shooting had to be cancelled.

The unit later apologised for the prank. "We were really worried about Kangana, after she fell really sick because of the spiked joint. We owned up to our mischief and apologised to her. She took it in the right spirit, and didn't mind our prank," said a source.

Kangana will be seen in a new avatar opposite R Madhavan in 'Tanu...', which hits theatres on February 25. — PTI

Gimme one more time!

Hollywood actor David Duchovny has revealed that he's keen to reprise his role as Agent Fox Mulder for a third flick in the 'X-Files' movie franchise. David says he misses the show, which he considers as a little family, according to Showbiz Spy. "I'm always game. It always rides on Fox. Chris Carter is game. I know Gillian Anderson is game. We all, at this point, love the show," the Daily Telegraph quoted him as saying.

"We all, at this point, would love to work with one another again. We're all good friends and miss one another, and miss working together. "We worked together so hard for so long, so closely. We had some ups and downs personally, sure. But in the end, they are really like family to me.

"We're all like this little X-Files family and I, for one, would love to continue. And I think there's a lot left in the show. You know? And I think we can continue to make good movies. "It's just a matter of spending enough on a movie that can compete in the summertime. We made a movie and released it in the summer, but it wasn't really a blockbuster movie. And it got kind of overshadowed by the bigger ones. So, we're saying, make us big. We'll fight with the big boys," the actor said. — ANI

Botox beauty

After years of denying it, Hollywood superstar Nicole Kidman has finally admitted to using botox.

The 43-year-old actor who is famed for her alabaster complexion, said that she did experiment with botox but insisted she no longer uses it.

Kidman made her confession to a German magazine interviewer who asked her about keeping wrinkles at bay.

"I've tried a lot of things but apart from working out and a good diet most things don't help. I even tried botox but I didn't like how my face looked afterwards. Now, I don't use it anymore and I can move my forehead again," said Kidman.

In 2008, one cosmetic surgery expert told a medical conference that the Australia-born actress was so "over-botoxed" she was giving the industry a bad name.

When quizzed earlier about her youthful looks, Kidman had said, "I am completely natural. I have nothing in my face or anything." — PTI

Guest of honour

Hit musical series Glee's leading man Matthew Morrison has named British actor Keira Knightley as his dream guest star and has welcomed her for a cameo role whenever she wants.

Morrison, who plays Glee club leader Will Schuester, is hoping that the Pirates of the Caribbean star will be the next famous face to sign up, so that he can fulfil his fantasy of kissing her onscreen.

"Oh God, I'm such a sucker for women with British accents. So many (potential guest stars) to choose from...

Actually I'll go with a Brit because I really like this gir —Keira Knightley. She should guest star in Glee. (She should play) the part of the girl who gets kissed by Will Schuester," said 32-year-old Morrison.

The phenomenally successful musical series has recently attracted a slew of superstar guests, including actor Gwyneth Paltrow and pop star Britney Spears. — PTI

Raj ki baat!
In the city for the launch of his album The Raj, Punjabi MC aka Rajinder Singh shares how deejaying is an art, which comes with years of practice
Ashima Sehajpal

A set of fixed answers to a set of fixed questions and that's it. When it's about interviewing Punjabi MC, one of the most popular DJ and music composers, we have a fair idea of what would come out of the interaction- music scenario around the globe, scene in India, future of deejaying, Punjabi music becoming universal, the contemporary music form of rapping…and the results were quite expected, except for his take on the 'modern and tolerant' Western society. "It's a pseudo-modern society, extremely racist and a one that loves to bring down people who have achieved something in life."

In very strong words, he adds, "In Europe, any outsider who's successful is hated. The US still fares better. The aftershocks of 9/11 are still felt in the West in the form of racism. Any Asian with a brown skin is a Paki," says the Punjabi MC aka Rajinder Singh, who launched his album The Raj at the Big FM studio in the city on Wednesday. He adds that England too has gone back to pre-Independence era of India, when racism was a prevalent social evil.

It's probably on the same line of thought that the cover of the album has a picture of the Queen's crown, "Maybe that makes authorities there realise that Kohinoor diamond has a sentimental value for Indians". So, does even the name of the album got something to do with the British Raj? "I decided on the name for two reasons. The first, of course is related to the British rule. The second is that I wanted people in the UK to address me as Raj, which is short form of my name. Otherwise, they call me P, abbreviation for Punjabi, which isn't pleasing."

Coming to the album, it has 15 tracks sung by the likes of Lehmber Hussainpuri, Bappi Lahiri and Kuldeep Manak. He feels that the tracks would match the success of his earlier numbers like Mundiyan to bach ke Rahin and Mirza is Morni. He has also done rap for the track called, The Raj. "In all these years, I have failed to choose one from rapping, DJing and composing music, probably the reason I haven't mastered any," he quips. While he took at least a decade to master the right mixing and scratching, people do claim to learn the art in a few months time with the help of softwares and websites! "Youngsters today want to come out with an album as soon as they have learnt the basic nuances of DJing. Quality supersedes quantity and it's very important to understand this fact to make a career in DJing. It's only after 10 years of mixing that a DJ becomes perfect." But that does create some competition, which doesn't bother him, "In fact that keeps me on my toes all the time, even after an experience of so many years."

Although his tracks have been picked up for films like Boom and Bend it like Beckam, he has never worked for a Bollywood project as such. "That's solely for the reason that nothing has come my way. I would be more than happy to give music for a Bollywood flick." We would wait for that to happen!

ashima@tribunemail.com 

Console-ing factor
Manpriya Khurana

Wasn't the Deejay already going places, from the nightclubs to gyms, cafes or even malls? DJ Teenu Arora adds to the statistics by becoming the first ever DJ to turn music composer for Bollywood, with his maiden film Mumbai Mast Kalander. "There's a world of difference between making music for films and scratching, mixing and spinning. I took to deejaying because I eventually wanted to become a music director and I had no background in the Industry," scheduled to perform in city on Saturday, he draws the parallels over the phone from Bahrain.

"DJing does help in someway, it helps in visualising the final product. But still as a music composer for a film, you have to start from scratch, learn the basics of production," he adds.

The rest as they say, is proverbial history that spans over 13 years of playing music in just about every club in the world. He has a couple of awards in his kitty, like the World DMC Mixing Championship 2000 and Best DJ of North India by a magazine. "I was born and brought up in Delhi and since childhood have been hooked to music. I wouldn't head anywhere without headphones. I learnt the art under DJ Rummi," he says. Ever since deejaying has evolved from a mere aspiration to a passion and now to a profession, DJs have become omnipresent in the cityscape. "The reason we see them everywhere is because they are basically entertainers and present pre-recorded music in a better way."

Back to the Mumbai… "It's a youth-centric film with two party songs."

On the international front, Teenu is ready to release his first house music single Be Mine Tonight, scheduled to be out in February. "It's a vocal house track going to be released by different labels in different countries."

Scheduled to perform on Saturday at Black Magic-DT Mall, when he'd be "playing his own tracks, some from his albums, others from Bollywood and perhaps would be giving out audio CDs to the crowd', he has a couple of takes on the city too. "I feel DJs from Delhi and Chandigarh are very good. And I'm not saying it because I'm speaking to someone from the region."

Also on the cards is music for Kashmira Shah's upcoming album, a single by Band of Boys called Friday Night, Rohit Roy's short film Hotel Park Street. Quite a musicful!

manpriya@tribunemail.com

Warm up

This exhibition is well timed. On at Lajpat Rai Bhawan-15, Kullu Fest'11 offers a variety of shawls, stoles, mufflers, jackets, socks and caps.

Here you can find pashmina, yak wool and pure wool stoles and shawls. While pashmina comes in natural colours (there is option of self-print), it comes at a starting range of Rs 8,000. Yak wool shawls with broad borders are priced at Rs 960. Pure wool, hand woven shawls, plain as well with traditional borders start from Rs 400.

There is range of jackets and coats for men, women and children. Also, one can find a range of gloves, caps and socks. Woollen ponchos find a place here as well.

"We have been organising this exhibition for the past 10 years now. Our clients trust us with our quality. What we say is what we sell," says Anil Mehra, from Manu Weavers, Manali.

Also, on display are Banarsi fabric, suit, saris, quilts, bedspreads, furniture from Saharanpur, leather coats, palm leaf and metal paintings from Orissa and bangles from Jaipur.

The woollies come at a 20 per cent discount. — TNS

On till January 23

Face off

Women coming to parlours for facials have common problems like uneven and patchy skin, clogged pores, dull complexion and lack of glow. These are signs of unhealthy skin whose major cause is lack of Oxygen. What the skin needs at this time is a high boost of pure oxygen which revives the skin and most facials kits available in the market do not meet this need.

Oxy-a premium fast-growing bleach brand- has launched OxyLife Professional Facial Kit with unique OxySphere technology developed in Germany. It helps to encapsulates pure oxygen in each product of kit and release on application. This kit is created exclusively for professional use and works in a five step process face cleanser, face scrub, face cream, face gel and face pack to give a visibly radiant face that glows with life. This launch also marks Dabur's entry into the professional skin care market.

The launch was accompanied with an expert talk on skin care by acclaimed beauty professional Bharti Taneja. Speaking on the occasion, Dabur India Ltd Executive vice-president, Marketing (Personal Care), Vikas Mittal said, "At Babur, we have always recognized and strived to meet the ever-evolving needs of our consumers. Today's women are exposed to a hectic, stressful and urban lifestyle which takes a toll on their skin. With Oxylife Professional Facial Kit we are tapping into a big opportunity in professional space and our endeavour is to give superior result through differentiated offering. —TNS

Master strokes
SD Sharma

Much that we know about our cultural heritage comes through sculptures, carvings or paintings," says Patna-based sculptor Rajat Kumar Ghosh, who is at Kalagram on the invitation of the NZCC as 'Artist in Residence'.

"Earlier, those at the helm of affairs better understood art in terms of utility as well, since the sculptures can preserve and propagate the history and cultural traditions of a particular era," he adds, highlighting the significance of visual art in life, society and the nation.

"Sadly, authorities in many states lack appreciation for artworks. My own creations installed at public venues in Bihar are now in a dilapidated condition," he rues. He praises the city for taking care of its sculptures both at Kalagram and Chandigarh in general.

Following in the footsteps of his father-guru Manoranjan Ghosh, the acclaimed photographer and artist, Rajat, started painting at a very young age. His passion for sculpture-making turned into a full-fledged profession and to attain

perfection in the art, he studied at the College and Fine Arts and Culture, Patna. He was awarded a scholarship for study and research in tribal arts, anthropology and folk art forms of the region. Rajat has won many honours, including National Lalit Kala Academy Award in 1985. Although he specialises in terracota with 7000-odd sculptures to his credit, Rajat is equally good with other mediums like stone, sand stone, mural et al.

His works reflect the folklore of Maithali, Bhojpuri, Meghavi as well as mythological deities. Rajat has enlivened the heroic and love legends of Allah Udal-Tulsi Veer, Natua Dayal, Dhuiyna Bawa and many more.

Heart-to-heart
Girlie bonds are really intense. How difficult is it to handle a break-up?
Mona

Whatever women do is intense and so is their friendship. The bonds that female friends share are really close. But what happens when such a close friendship breaks? “Friendships of women can be very close, so it can be as painful as breaking up with a partner when things go wrong,” says Irene S. Levine, clinical psychologist and author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Break Up With Your Best Friend.

What makes women bonds special? What to do in case they break? We gather some notes from the city’s fairer sex.

“Women bonds are very intense,” says Pallavi Chopra from Sector-4, Panchkula. “I have two very close female friends. Our bond is so special that I get hurt whenever we fight,” she admits. And how does she mend things? “Well, fights occur mostly because of miscommunication or misunderstanding. My experience has taught me that there is no fun in keeping it in the heart and being bitter. ‘Share and sort out’ is my mantra,” says Pallavi.

Women share their closest secrets with friends, which can become troublesome if a friendship breaks. “Women share a lot in their friendship. Asking for suggestions, spending too much time together feels great when you are friends. And, hurts as badly when you are no more,” says Shilpa Kapoor, a homemaker from Sector 12, Panchkula. “I wouldn’t says don’t take advice from friends but please apply your brains too,” she adds.

Having gone through a ‘friend break-up’, Shilpa suggests that distance should be maintained from the beginning. “Women have this trait of ‘feeling guilty’ all the time. I had trouble with one of my friend. Though we still meet, we are no more friends the way we used to be. It hurts me no end,” says Shilpa.

‘Keeping distance’ is the approach Vaishali Thakur, an assistant professor in law, also adopts. “When I am friends with someone, it’s for life. I may not be talking to each of my friend everyday, but that doesn’t spoil our friendship,” says Vaishali. She says ‘giving space’ in any relationship is a must and that holds true for friendship as well.

“Even I had one bad experience. But I have moved on. And, so should everyone,” says Vaishali, who is known in her friend circle for her ‘fun loving spirit’.

Women need appreciation. If the family fails to provide that, women bank on friends for that. “Women draw lots of support from friends. If a friendship is real, the break-up is going to be painful,” says Preeti Arora, a choreographer from Sector 11. In times when everything is short term, friendships break as well. This is what Preeti suggests, “Immerse yourself in work, do something that makes you happy and move on.”

mona@tribunemail.com

 

How to get over

  • Give yourself time to think
  • If you’ve wrong, apologise swiftly
  • Keep yourself busy
  • Don’t assume, talk to find out what is going on
  • Find support in some of your ‘backseat’ friends
  • If you have begged and cajoled, and she won’t be moved, you need to respect the boundaries she has set and move on
    (From Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Break Up With Your Best Friend)

Relatively Speaking
Snowy treat

My cousin, pursuing her studies at Shimla, invited me for the New Year’s Eve celebration. With a handful of woollens packed in a rucksack, I zoomed to Shimla. My cousin had come to receive me. In half an hour, we were at her hostel. Following a sumptuous dinner, we slept early. The crispy morning had a surprise in store - Shimla received the season’s first snowfall. It was like a dream come true for me. We sauntered along the Ridge and the skating rink, yelling and yodelling at each other. We lived each moment of the fun-filled snowy day.

Shivani Dhiman, Chandigarh

White memories

My favourite winter memory is of a recent trip to a place called Fagu in Himachal Pradesh. We were on our way when snow started falling and got heavier within no time. It was getting dark and we felt all the more scared as the car started skidding on the fresh snow. Luckily, a local helped us reach our hotel. There was no light in the hotel, the water had frozen, the phone lines were all dysfunctional and the temperature plummeted to – 6 degree Centigrade by midnight. That night, each time I woke up, all that I could hear was a sound like sand being blown onto the windows. It was indeed scary, but when I woke up next morning, I looked out onto a sea of white. It was ‘a fairyland of crystal’ outside the window. Trees, bushes, buildings and cars were under a thick cover of snow. It was a memory that I will cherish for long.

Neena Saini, Chandigarh

Past present

My favourite winter memory is of December 31, 1981, while serving in the Indian Air Force. We were preparing to welcome 1982, when a message arrived that one of our helicopters had technical problem at Silchar Airport. I was detailed to carry special tools required to repair the helicopter. I was dropped at the local railway station, boarded a train and reached New Jalpaiguri (West Bengal) at midnight. From there, I was to reach Bagdogra Airport and board a flight to Silchar next morning. Shivering, hungry and dreaming about the next year bash, I walked out. There was no conveyance for Bagdogra at that hour. I noticed a light burning in a house. I knocked at the door, which was opened by a Nepali man. After listening to my problem, he welcomed me to his house-cum-dhaba. Two kids were asleep. The couple too was preparing to sleep. The house lady prepared steaming hot rice and daal. The memory of that mouth-watering delicacy still tickles my taste buds. The couple made a bed for me by joining three benches. Before leaving for Bagdogra, I thanked them and tried my best to compensate their rare gesture with some money, which they politely declined.

Harbans Singh, Ambala Cantt

Costly affair

A new survey has revealed that Britons spend a whopping 37 million pounds every year on unused purchases and broken resolutions. The average adult spends 1,213 pounds a year on ‘wasted’ items, such as gym memberships they do not use, healthy food they throw away and new clothes they never wear.

77 per cent admit wasting ‘a lot’ on gym fees, with most spending 303 pounds in forgotten direct debits for membership.

Another 158 pounds goes on unused sports equipment, while night classes that go unattended cost 172 pounds a year. The average adult also wastes 111 pounds on gadgets and 123 pounds on clothes. Discarded food and drink costs a further 103 pounds a year, while computer games, CDs, DVDs and magazine subscriptions also regularly go to waste.

“Although officially being out of recession, things are still extremely difficult, so it’s crucial to save money by not buying things we don’t really need or want,” said Darren Fell, of online accountants Crunch.co.uk, which carried out the poll of 3,000 people.

“But many Britons admit they often get sucked into buying something they won’t really use, so it’s worth considering purchases wisely.” — ANI

True love

A new research has supported the idea that long-term love is possible. A new study, led by Bianca Acevedo and Arthur Aron of the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook University and colleagues, compared the neural correlates of long-term married and in love individuals with individuals who had recently fallen in love.

They discovered highly similar brain activity in regions associated with reward, motivation and ‘wanting” in both sets of couples.

The research team used functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) to scan the brains of 10 women and 7 men who reported that they were still intensely in love with their spouse after an average of 21 years of marriage.

“We found many very clear similarities between those who were in love long term and those who had just fallen madly in love,” said Aron, referring to key reward and motivation regions of the brain, largely parts of the dopamine-rich ventral tegmental area (VTA). “In this latest study, the VTA showed greater response to images of a long-term partner when compared with images of a close friend or any of the other facial images,” he said.

Acevedo and Aron explained that the brain imaging data on the long-term couples suggested that reward-value associated with a long-term partner may be sustained, similar to new love.

Additionally, the results supported theories proposing that there might be specific brain mechanisms by which romantic love is sustained in some long-term relationships. — ANI

Renee Writes
Trust is must

I am a 32-year-old woman and in a live-in relationship for the past five years. We were planning to get married and had been discussing wedding plans for quite some time. Recently, I got a rude shock when I discovered that he had been dating another girl. He is not dating her anymore and owned up to it when I confronted him. He says he is sorry and it will never happen again and he is still wants to marry me. However, this whole incident has shaken me up and I have started wondering how many other lies he could be telling me. Please help me to deal with the situation.

Mandeep Majitha
Delhi

My sympathies are with you. I can understand the hurt and torment you have been going through. You are just stepping into a new phase in life. Marriage is a commitment not only to your partner but also to your own self. Sit together and discuss things. Trust is the most important element in a relationship. See to it that you have enough between the two of you. God and the Universe will guide you if you have faith.

Necessity of saving

I am 28, married and have a two-year-old daughter. My husband and I have both been happy together. Recently, we have taken a house loan. I was initially very happy but now I am beginning to get worried. My husband is a spendthrift, and wastes money on useless things like designer clothes. I am worried about my child’s education. Whenever I confront him, be gets aggressive. I have no idea how to deal with the situation. All the joy seems to have gone from my life. I feel stressed and burdened. Nothing seems worthwhile except for the fact that I must have enough money to pay all my debts. Please tell me what to do how should I confront my husband about our life.

Anjali D’souza
Rampur

Please don’t stress, life is truly full of joy, so allow it to be so. I can understand your predicament, no matter how much we try to run away from the harsh realities of life they to seem to loom large in front of us. And need to be tackled with extreme care. Remember that love is the most motivating force for all of us on the planet. So rather than getting into arguments over things with your husband please try and explain with love and affection. There is no situation we cannot handle if we decide. Try and do things that would make your husband happy and then in one of the moments that he seem responsive explain to him the necessity of saving and also the responsibility of the child.

Remain firm in your resolve 

I am 27-year-old man with a successful career. Most of my colleagues are envious of me and think they would love to be in my shoes. But I have a serious problem. I am an alcoholic. I do not like to accept this in front of anybody as they have this grand image of me and I would not like to shatter it. Earlier, it did not bother me but not any more. My girl friend of five years has threatened to leave me as she thinks I misbehave after drinking. I have no recollection of it. My family has almost disowned me and now that I am so stressed I feel the need to drink and forget even more. Please suggest what I should do.

Mehar Chabbria
Ambala

Relax. It’s wonderful that you have the courage to accept your problem and look for a solution. I would suggest you go to a therapist and pour your heart out to him. There must be some childhood insecurity that is sending you towards these drinking bouts. You sound sensible I am sure once you are in touch with the pain inside of you, you will be able to heal it. Discuss it with your girlfriend. If she understands you and cares for you she will definitely help you with it. Try and avoid places and people that make you to drink. Take a holiday or do a meditation retreat. Yoga helps build resistance to temptation with affirmations. Remain firm in your resolve to stop drinking and you will reach your goal.

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