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I Hate Luv Storys
Though 2010 saw its share of star break-ups, some grabbed more footage than others. While the top Break ke Baad tale that kept even the media on tenterhooks was that of the Dabangg and his Diva (Salman and Katrina), it was another split saga — of Deepika Padukone and Ranbir — that caught the attention of talent scouts with its spicy ‘post’ script. So impressed were they with Deepika’s washing of dirty linen in public and her flair for leaving stains (on reputations, that is) — with bold proclamations on a chat show that her ex-beau should sell condoms — that a leading brand has signed the lady to endorse, what else, a detergent, with the tagline: daag acche hain! Chunni badnam hui, darling tere liye
The Great Indian Job Bazaar will throw up options not just for its citizens in 2011 but is also set to be a hub for outsourcing from overseas. And one import into our expanding workforce is going to be none other than Pamela Anderson, who will be logistically easier to offshore, considering the fact that beaches are where the Baywatch babe is. Though by pocketing nearly Rs 2.5 cr for her Bigg Boss 4 showing Pamela did give our own Malaika ‘Munni’ Khan a run for her money, with the latter, too, commanding about the same price for a performance post-Dabangg, it turned out to be more a case of chunni. Or the lack of it, since Pamela bare-ly made it to the reality show, as a brand ambassador for recession of the sartorial kind. Thus, the offers she’s been flooded with for 2011 include being a showstopper for every fashion week, since that way the industry will be able to cut costs on raw material.
Gal mithhi mithhi bol Having established herself as the empress of expletives, Dolly Bindra of the Bigg Boss 4 fame (shame) has been offered employment at the soon-to-be-launched National School of Drama for Fresh Parliamentarians. Given her natural gift of the "grab" and her vocal chords’ extraordinary endowment to roar, hitherto considered to be the exclusive preserve of certain parliamentarians, she is being called upon to tutor raw legislators’ larynx in throaty thwarting. And any guess who shall be the first to enrol for the courses? Bihari babus and UP wallahs, of course! Action Replayy
Her experience gained from roles like Rakhi ka Swayamvar and Pati, Patni aur Woh is expected to stand her in good stead in lending counsel on policies for matrimonial disputes/family courts, in her new role as adviser to the commission. And to prepare for the role, it was last heard that Rakhi had got herself DVDs of the Legally Blonde series. Rakhi a la Reese! Break ke Baad
With her partnership with Ness Wadia having already been run out and her career also not on a strong wicket, the meagre employment Preity was left with in 2010 was to be an ambassador for Salman’s Being Human show. Of course, Shilpa’s setback as a business partner was somewhat compensated by more pressing duties as Raj Kumdra’s new home partner. But seeing the gusto with which Shilpa and Preity embraced their role of team leaders-cum-morale boosters, what with their liberal planting of jaadu ki jhappis on the lads of Rajasthan Royals and Kings XI, they’re being appointed co-consultants to the proposed ICL — Indian Cheerleaders League. Zor ka jhatka hai zoron se laga
Seeing that most of his efforts to get into form are going waist, Yuvraj’s being enrolled in the upcoming SRK Academy for Abs. The academy’s being launched as an alternative employment to King Khan, whose reign is in question seeing that though he was the one to rehearse the line "My Name is Khan" for the US President, it was another Khan who actually made it to the high table and got to ‘Peep(li) Live’ at Barack Obama. And also since his other means of livelihood — as the Badshah of Brand Endorsement —has also been threatened, with that field being taken over by MSD. So, hope for the flagging careers of the batman and the badshah may lie in waist management in 2011.
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Given her decided
propensity to dispense justice in such a way that it ‘kills’ two
birds with a stone: first, it shoots up her show’s TRPs and,
secondly, it shoots down our population count by driving people to
desperate measures like rooftop hopping, Rakhi ka Insaaf host
Rakhi Sawant has earned herself a berth in the National Law Commission
for 2011.
Bollywood
beauties-turned businesswomen Preity and Shilpa may have found
themselves out of job with their IPL teams temporarily being kept out
of season 4 (they got court reprieve later), but better opportunities
await them in 2011.
With Yuvraj Singh’s
run rate failing to take off like Kites at the box office last
season and his fickle form preventing Action Replayy, 2010 saw
Punjab’s southpaw being dropped from the Indian squad for some
important tournaments. But in a season of sidelining, God knows what
was the bigger bolt for him: Mahi not including him in his Band
Baja Baraat or keeping him out of the Asia Cup.