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A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids who went into his watermelon patch every night to eat their fill. After some thought, he made a sign that read, “WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH CYANIDE!” He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. A week later, the farmer was surveying his field. To his satisfaction, no watermelons were missing, but a sign next to his read, “NOW THERE ARE TWO!” A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy What do you think I should do?” “Relax,” says the doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar?” John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. “Give me one last request, dear,” he said. “Of course, John,” his wife said softly. “Six months after I die,” he said, “I want you to marry Bob.” “But I thought you hated Bob,” she said. With his last breath John said, “I do!” Two old college friends met after a long time. One said: “My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t”. For sale An interesting advertisement: For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake. Compiled by Sunil Sharma
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