WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Straight shooter

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool.

The bartender looks at him and says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them double."

The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served.

Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking.

"You’d drink them this fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender hastily asks, "Wow, what do you have pal?"

The man quickly replies: "Only one dollar."

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr Smith asked, "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s $5."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I’ll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.

The lad smiled and said, "Applied psychology."

The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech.

When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What’s the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded.

"Half the audience walked out before I finished."

Jenkins was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma