WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Stuck jeep

During training exercises, the lieutenant, who was driving down a muddy back road, encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.

"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price."

The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all."

Harry came home from Sunday school and asked his mother, "Do people really come from dust"?

"In a way said," said his mother.

"And do they go back to dust"?

"Yes, in a way". She replied.

"Well, mother, I looked under my bed, and somebody’s either coming or going"

At a BBQ, a couple was chatting with some guests when the marriage counselling topic came up. The wife, very pompous, commented; "Oh we’ll never need that. My husband and I have an excellent relationship."

"My husband was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I am listening."

A four-year-old came screaming out of the bathroom to tell his mom that he had dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. The mom fished it out and threw it in the garbage. The kid stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to her mom’s bathroom and came out with her toothbrush.

He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out, too, then, because it also fell in the toilet a few days ago."

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time?"

He replied, "No, there is a whole series of fairy tales that begin with ‘If elected I promise...’"

Compiled by Sunil Sharma