Webside HUMOUR
Blessings overflowing

A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. “I’m going on a sabbatical to Rome,” he replied, “and while I’m there, I’ll light a candle for you.”

When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple’s house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

“He’s gone to Rome to blow that candle out,” came the harried reply.

Wrong way

Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one-way street, “And where do you think you are going?”

Driver: “I’m not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is coming back.”

Body donated

John asks: “Why are you drinking so much?”

Joe says: “Because I donated my body to science, and I am preserving it until they are ready to use it”.

Hanging fate

Willy runs in and tells his mother you’d better come out. I’ve just knocked over the ladder at the side of the house.

His mother says, “Go and tell your father, I’m busy”.

Willy says, “Mom, he already knows, he’s hanging from the roof”.

Low railings

Two drunks were walking home along the railway track. The first drunk says, “There’s a hell of a lot of steps here.”

The second drunk says, “Yeah, and the worst part is that this hand rail is too low down.”

Lifesaving kit

A blonde tells her friend that she has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.

“Wow!” exclaimed her friend. “And where do you keep it?”

“It is in the car trunk”, the blonde replied.

Not much hungry

While working at a pizza parlour a man ordered a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or six. He thought about it for some time then said ‘Just cut it into four pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat six pieces.

Compiled by Sunil Sharma