Ulta Pulta
Intoxicating tales
Jaspal Bhatti

I read out a news item to my co-passenger in the Shatabadi Express that the Punjab Police had recovered 1.1 kg of heroin worth Rs 5 crore. He apparently got worried about something, opened a packet from his pocket and took some drug. I said, "You seem to be in terrible tension as if your own consignment of narcotics has been confiscated." He replied, "I wonder what the police does with the rich haul of drugs it recovers every other day."

I said, "It is my wild guess that the police sells the stuff in the international market and deposits the money in the police welfare fund." He said, "Selling narcotics is illegal, the police can’t do so." I answered, "Then the police must be burning the stuff." He said, "How can police officers oversee the destruction of such costly, mouth-watering stuff in front of their own eyes?"

I phoned my friend Bharataji and asked him to shed some light on this matter, as he is considered an authority on wine, whiskey or drugs. Bharata ji said, "The police immediately deposits the recovered drugs in the police malkahana. I asked him, "What is police malkhana?" He replied, "Jahan policewale maal khate hain" (where cops share the booty).





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