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A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?" The man said, "You don’t understand. I need a card that covers ‘both’ events! You see, we’re celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife’s 34th birthday." Burglar alarm "Didn’t you suspect burglars had been in the house when you saw all the drawers pulled out and the contents scattered all over the floor?" asked the policeman. "No, I just thought my husband had been looking for a clean shirt," replied the woman. Sunday school A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let’s take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You’d be his wife!" Good job "Hello Mrs Miller," said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop. The husband and wife looked at him but drew complete blanks. "I’m sorry, do we know each other?" the wife asked. "Yeah, you was my English teacher." Leaning over, the husband whispered, "Good job, Honey, good job." Perfect shot A foursome approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed of and hooked the ball into that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, "How on earth did you do that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus schedule." — Compiled by Sunil Sharma |
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