Piffle fare

Based on a novel by Stephanie Meyer, David Slade’s The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is a lacklustre story with little buildup, and ends when it has probably run out of raw stock

THIS is the third in the series but if you’ve not seen the earlier ones it doesn’t make a difference. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse can stand on its own. It’s all about vampires and werewolves but all in the guise of teenagers, or pre-adults. The catch-lines say it is "a ritualistic space for collective emoting," whatever that means.

If Hollywood has gone through all the heights and depths of sexuality, the pendulum seems to have swung back and oh so suddenly virginity seems to be in vogue. Bella (Kristen Stewart) quotes from Robert Frost "From What I’ve tasted of desire, I hold those who favour fire." Her problem is she’s in love with two guys.

In the opening scene in the meadows, she’s seen discussing marriage "compromise or coercion" with super cool, no-can-do Edward (Robert Pattinson) but it is topless Jake (Taylor Lautner), who is the more passionate, making no bones about it and even telling Edward "I am hotter than you."

So indecisive Bella swings between these two suitors in an absurd love triangle. They sigh, moon, swoon and sigh again in miles and miles of footage and 60 minutes could well have been reduced from its 120-minute length without making an iota of a difference.

Director David Slade seems to specialise in inanities and meanders his way He is not helped much by Melissa Rosenberg’s lackluster screenplay. If there are a few laughs, they are more by accident than design. That this trio run into a gang of young warriors bent on a showdown with Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) as the werewolf leader and Charlie Swann (Billy Burke) and others in tow. They are spoiling for a showdown and guess what, there is also a pack of bears, tame and friendly, at times, and wild and ferocious, at others. But they move only at director Slade’s behest.

Actually, the viewer has to wade through much piffle which makes one wonder how films like this work wonders at the box office. In all of the stipulated time the story just goes round and round in circles. If one has to look for plus points, Kristen Stewart is easy on the eye but not her talent while Robert Pattinson’s namby-pamby sisi is even annoying. Taylor Launter is raw by contrast.

Based on a novel by Stephanie Meyer, it is a lacklustre story with little buildup, and ends when it has probably run out of raw stock.

As one reviewer suggested a better ending would have been the two men dumping the girl and falling in love themselves. I surely concur and that about says it all.

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