WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Smart dog

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while.

"I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen."

"Nah, he’s not so smart," the friend replied. "I’ve beaten him three games out of five."

Selling at an auction was halted when the auctioneer announced, "Someone in the room has lost his wallet containing $2,000. He is offering a reward of $500 for its immediate return."

After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, "$550"

The clerk in a shoe store was trying hard to persuade his customer that a pair of uncomfortable shoes fit her.

"I’m telling you, these shoes are too pointed and too narrow," argued the customer.

"But, madam," replied the salesman, "everyone is wearing narrow, pointed shoes this season."

"That may be," countered the customer, "but I’m still wearing my last season’s feet."

Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury.

"I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered.

"It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner’s manual.

"Here it is... rear defrosters."

There was an earthquake that scared the inhabitants of a certain town.

One couple sent their little boy to stay with an uncle in another district, explaining the reason for the nephew’s sudden visit.

A day later, the parents received this telegram, "Am returning your boy. Send the earthquake."

Mary comes home rather late. "Oh, sweetheart," she called, "your car’s on Maple Street."

"Why didn’t you bring it home?" her husband asked. "Couldn’t, she said.

"It’s too dark out there to find all the parts."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma