WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Age limit

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25-year-old woman. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She’s my wife."

They are knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"

"I lied about my age," Bob replies.

"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

The millionaire was arrested for speeding and brought before the judge in a small community. When the judge offered him the alternative of paying a $10 fine or serving 10 days in jail, the millionaire decided to take the 10 days.

"But, my good man, you are wealthy," said the judge, amazement ringing his face. "Why you should prefer 10 days in jail to paying a $10 fine is beyond me."

"It’s like this, Judge," the man explained. "Our chef left and my wife figures it’ll take that long to find a new one."

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch, they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tyre.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: "First Question: Which tyre was flat?"

A man gave the waiter his order, "Black coffee, no cream."

The waiter came back and apologised, "I’m sorry, we’re out of cream. Would you take your coffee without milk?"

One day there was a little boy at school. He needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said, "Say your ABCs first".

The boy started saying, "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z."

The teacher asked at the end, "Where is your P?"

The boy answered, "Running down my pants."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma