Webside HUMOUR
Competing God

GOD is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him, "Lord, we don’t need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing.`A0In other`A0 words, we can now do what you did in the ‘beginning’."

"Oh, is that`A0so? Tell me," replies God.

"Well", says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into`A0it, thus creating man."

"Well, that’s interesting. Show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mould the soil.

"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own dirt!"

A woman was in court charged with the attempted murder of her husband.

"But why did you stab him over a 100 times?" asked the judge.

"Oh, Your Honour," replied the defendant, "It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know how to switch off the electric carving knife."

A little girl and a little boy were at a daycare centre one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, want to play house?"

He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

"Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Tommy.

"I have no idea what that means."

The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the`A0husband."

Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver that he is four years old when asked because he will ride for free. As they get into the bus, the driver asks Johnny how old he was. "I am four years old". "And when will you be six years old?" asks the driver. "When I get off the bus" answers Johnny.

Little Johnny: "Why is your homework in your Dad’s writing?" the teacher asks.

"I used his pen," he replied.

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma