Webside HUMOUR
No escape

Some boy-scouts from the big city were on a camping trip for the first time.

The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten.

Then one of them saw some lightening bugs and said to his friend, "We might as well give up, now they’re coming after us with flashlights."

While drinking at the river, a young bear admires its reflection and growls, "I am the king of beasts!"

Along comes a lion and roars, "What was that I just heard?" "Oh, dear," says the bear, "you say strange things when you’ve had too much to drink."

An urgent call was put in for a plumber at noon but he didn’t arrive until 5 hours later. "How is it?" he asked entering the house.

"Not so bad," replied the homeowner. "While we were waiting for you to arrive I taught my wife how to swim."

At a bar Tom said to Bill: "Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, radiator from a Lexus, tyres from a Ford"

"What did he get? asked Bill.

"Two years" said Tom.

Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual check up. While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose, "I don’t like the way he looks."

"Neither do I," she said. "But he’s handy around the house."

A man visiting New York stopped at a restaurant which claimed it could supply any dish ordered, so the tourist asked the waiter for Kangaroo on toast.

The waiter came back a while later and said, "I am so sorry, sir, but we have run out of bread."

A man is being interviewed for a job. "What are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?"

"The slightest noise wakes me up."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma