Webside HUMOUR
Masked robbery

During a robbery, one of the robbers mask slid down. He looked at a man and asked. "Did you see my face?"

The man said, "Yes! The robber shot him.

Then he asked a woman. "Did you see my face?"

She said "No, but my husband over there did."

Earl and Bob, both obsessed with baseball, never missed their favourite team’s game. They promised, whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally Earl did. He said to Bob. "I have good news and bad news. I’ll tell you the good news first. There is baseball in heaven." Bob said, "That’s the best news!" Then Earl said, time for the bad news...."You’re pitching tomorrow night."

Billy and Tommy, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My daddy’s an accountant. What does your daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.

Tommy replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Tommy.

A debt-overwhelmed man, hopelessly poring over a pile of bills, suddenly shouted "I’d give a $1000 to anyone who would do my worrying for me."

"You’re on," said his wife. "Where is the 1000?"

"That is your first worry," he replied.

After working late in office, a man discovered that he had locked his keys in the car. But the last straw was learning that roadside service couldn’t get a locksmith to him for at least two hours.

Finally the guy showed, looking tired and annoyed.

As he struggled with the car door, the owner of the car joked, "Do those Slim Jim tools come in purse-size?"

"Yeah," he muttered. "They’re called keys."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma