Webside HUMOUR
Finding mommy

A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, “Marian, Marian!”

Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her: “You shouldn’t call me ‘Marian’. I’m your mother. You should call me that.”

“I know,” said the child, “but the store is full of Mommies.”

A case of experience

A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian. The motorist’s lawyer made this point: “Your honour, my client has been driving for more than 30 years.”

To which the lawyer for the plaintiff retorted, “Your honour, if we are to judge this case by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for more than 50 years.”

Good riddance

Walter arrived at his office late one morning and was greeted with giggles from the pretty young receptionist.

“What are you laughing at?” asked Walter.

“There’s a big black smudge on your face,” said the girl.

“Oh, that!” said Walter. “That’s easy to explain. I saw my wife off on a two-week vacation this morning; I took her to the station and kissed her good-bye.”

“But what about the smudge?”

“As soon as she got on board, I ran up and kissed the engine.”

Weighing machine

After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight. He drops in a coin and eagerly reads the results.

“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card.

“It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and an absolutely brilliant man!”

“Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”

Thank God

A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says, “Good thing that cows don’t fly.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma