WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Dedicated workers

A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks. The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing.`A0Finally, he approached the workers and asked, "I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one of you digs a hole, and then the other guy immediately fills it back up again. One of the city workers explained, "The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today."

A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, and who’s lucky number is 5, receives a phone call from a friend. The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws $5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5 to win. Sure enough, the horse comes in fifth.

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you."

"I know," said the man, "but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone."

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer. "As you are fitting her glasses, if she asks how much they cost, you say ‘$150."

"If her eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $100.’" "If her eyes still don’t flutter, you add, ‘Each.’"

A family was having dinner and the little boy said, "Dad I don’t like the holes in the cheese."

"Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of the plate."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma