Webside Humour
Second thoughts

As the Broadway showgirls were dressing for a performance, one of them noticed her friend was no longer sporting a flashy engagement ring.

“What happened, Lily?” she asked, pointing to the bare finger.

“The wedding is off?”

“Yeah,” Lily admitted. “I saw him in a bathing suit last week, and he looked so different without his wallet.”

Marital discord

Two guys in a bar are talking about their wives. “My wife is mad at me again,” says the first.

“Why?”

“I was drunk at the bar across the street last night and she came looking for me.”

“What’d you do?”

“I asked her for her phone number.”

Time to go

Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit.

“No way, am I getting on an airplane,” was the inevitable answer.

“Look, Mom, when it’s your time to go, it doesn’t matter if you’re on the ground or in the air.”

“I know,” said her mother. “I just don’t want to be that far off the ground when it’s the pilot’s time to go.”

Fishing trip

On a fine Saturday morning, a husband got up early to go for fishing. While taking car from the garage, he found that the weather was very bad outside.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph.

He pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

He went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed and cuddled up to his wife’s back and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.” She sleepily replied, “And can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in such a weather.”

Phone call

The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang.

“You must answer the telephone,” he told her irritably.

“All right,” she replied, “but it seems so silly. Nine times out of 10, it’s for you.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma