Webside HUMOUR
Punishment

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the inmates. “Do you watch much television here?”

“"Only the daytime ‘saas-bahu’ soap operas,” the inmate said. “At night we’re locked in our cells and don’t see any television.”

“That’s too bad,” the reporter said, “But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime.”

“What do you mean, nice?” the inmate said. “That’s part of the punishment!”

Driving licence

A man went to get his driver’s licence renewed. The line inched along for almost an hour until finally he got his licence. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.”

The clerk looked at his picture closely, and reassured him, “It’s okay. That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway.”

Shooting scene

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun.

“It’s for my husband,” she tells the clerk.

“Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk. “Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn’t even know that I’m going to shoot him.”

House call

A doctor was awakened at four in the morning by a caller who demanded to know how much he charged for a house call.

“Twenty-five dollars,” muttered the sleepy physician.

“How much is an office visit?” demanded the caller.

“Fifteen dollars.”

“Okay, doctor,” said the caller. “I’ll meet you in your office in 15 minutes.”

Flight time

A woman phoned a flight inquiry office to ask if a particular flight had departed.

While the officer was checking the information, the office-cleaning

staff turned on a vacuum cleaner behind him.

“Never mind,” the woman said.

“I just heard it take off,” and she hung up.

Compiled by Sunil Sharma