TELEPROMPT
Splendour of R-Day
Mannika Chopra

Television makes strange and strident demands on our intelligence, time and patience. This year, for instance, we know we will be littered with anniversaries. For starters, 2010 has such an anniversary-ish ring to it. Already, the month is not even out and we have the 60th anniversary of India being made a republic. For another, we know that news planning is easy with anniversaries. It allows busy editorial teams to plan well in advance and work out the diet for the 24x7 beast.

As resources diminish, anniversaries are an easy way out, a great marketing opportunity and, besides, Wikipedia is a helpful resource to find out what happened when to whom for rookie producers and reporters. Now what happened in 1910….hmmm….let me see. Last year had its fair share of anniversaries, including 25 years of Operation BlueStar, Indira Gandhi's assassination and the Bhopal gas tragedy. Then there was the Babri Masjid anniversary, not 25 years but still marked and remembered. Getting back to the present, TV, private and public, marked this Republic Day with traditional pomp and splendour (The words have been paraphrased from Doordarshan's news scripts which have not changed over the last 50 years, which, by the way, was another anniversary that was celebrated last year). Inexorable deadlines prevent a comprehensive review but by Sunday evening, CNN-IBN was airing The Makers of India, a line-up of 10 stalwarts who changed the map of India. Included in the line-up were Kamladevi Chattopadhya, MS Swaminathan, Satish Dhawan and Varghese Kurien. Lists like this are always a crowd puller but they are also fraught with danger.

On what basis are these inventories drawn up? Why are only certain categories selected? Though the catalogue was initially prefaced by anchors Rajdeep Sardesai and Ramchandra Guha with many, “Of course this is not a complete list;” “'There are others who are my favourites;" the point is a choice has been made. In the end, commendable as some of the entrants may be, such lists whiff of subjectivity and perhaps a little self-indulgence. As anchors, both the Sardesai-Guha duo work and sound better in the studio than alfresco against the imposing backdrop of Parliament. Both worthy interlocutors, they are, however, not life's natural hero worshippers. So the praise that poured forth sounded a little contrived as they both outlined the cuddly sides and the champagne moments of the terrific 10.

Reality TV also didn't forget January 26. Music ka Maha Muqabla on Star Plus started its song contest with a riveting Bande Mataram with Shaan belting out a particularly emotional rendition giving goose bumps to the goose bumps. As for the show — considering all the high and mighty vocalists who have participated in the contest — it somehow lacks the drama. Over two months old, it still does not have, what is colloquially known as, “get-up.” Maybe it's the crowd which looks rented. Initially, the crowd consisted of mostly young people — male — between 18-30. Now at least there is a smattering of women. But despite the show’s high voltage star power, give me Zee's Sa re ga ma any day.

Abhishek Bachchan is the new kid on the reality block. Tall, dark-ish and handsome-ish, if you go for those kind of looks, his genetic pool may not guarantee high TRPs to Let's play Bingo, the high buzz show on Colours. The show which kicked off this week had Paa Bachchan as the first guest, playing the bingo game with his son and going back home with a cool Rs 25 lakh. Not fair. It's felt like the chief guest of a charity show pulling out his own raffle ticket out of a hat.

Emotional Athiyachaar on UTV Bindaas could also have been called the “Tale of the Three Idiots.” The one and the only episode I had the misfortune to see had a young, innocent girlfriend (GF) wanting to spy on her boyfriend of two-and-half years to see whether he was a loyal fella. Apparently not only was the boyfriend playing the field with a model, GF 2, he was also open to come-hithers from GF 3, who had been planted by the channel to expose his evil ways. The end result of an effective spy camera was many suggestive embraces, kisses and heartache with GF 1 crying in a corner; GF 2 vilely abusing and physically hitting the former boy friend who, for reasons best known to himself, was throwing mineral water bottles out of a lift. Now logically, GF 2 could/should sue the channel for invading her privacy; unless she too was a plant — highly likely — because she had been going around with the cad only for two months. Really, you need a heart of stone not to laugh at the absurdities of reality TV.