Brain without brawn works
Salman Khan's macho look is passé, Uday Chopra's nerdy look is in. Ever thought what is about geeks that makes the beauties go weak in their knees? Read on…
Ashima Sehajpal

Geeks just can't get a better compliment than this. 'I now want to date a geek as they are more appreciative of what you do', came the recent confession from Megan Fox. And, it's worth pondering over when the statement is made by none other than the sexiest woman on Earth. Priyanka Chopra fell for the nerdy Uday Chopra in Pyaar Impossible for his charm and honesty. Far away, the brainy geeks accomplished tasks with beauties in Beauty and the Geek, a hit reality show. A recent research in the US has suggested, much to one's surprise, "Geeks like exercising more since they are more educated and wealthier than the general population. Such people tend to take better care of their health."

Joanna Magee Megan Fox

What is it about geeks that women have always fancied, their black-rimmed glasses, oiled look, intellectual persona or simplicity?

Simran Mundi, former Miss India, supports her take logically, "Women would always be insecure of the Greek God types. With probabilities of geeks being mature and sensible, chances of their cheating on a woman are less."

As geeks are more into books and have a better idea of what is happening around, there are chances of their making more money than the otherwise smart men. Joanna Magee of Splitsvilla-2 fame feels the definition of somebody being a geek is changing. "It's a mere tag given to people, who are serious about life. Just because they don't spend hours shopping or applying gel, doesn't mean they aren't smart." She claims she would too prefer to date a geek than somebody minus the brains. "A geek's smartness lies in his knowledge and better idea about everything. Looks don't get one too far but intelligence stays forever." Reason for all the tech crazy and bookworms to be happy!

Simran Mundi wittily adds another benefit of going around with a geek, "Since they are all the time engrossed in books and gadgets, they wouldn't bother much about the women around."

Support for Megan Fox's view of geeks being more appreciative also comes from women who don't belong to the glamour world. Dr Bela Sharma, consultant internal medicine, Fortis, says, "Handsome guys with scanty grey matters are equivalent to dumb blondes. As the combination of looks and brains is rare, women for lifelong relationship prefer guys with intellect." Intelligent husbands thus only make up for good fathers. The definition of marriage material is valid for guys as well. "Just as all beautiful girls aren't perfect to qualify as wives, all handsome guys too aren't marriage material. Girls eventually would fall for someone who is wise and intelligent, which geeks are more likely to be."

Their appreciating anything creative in their women is another reason, as Joanna points out, " As they are knowledgeable, unlike other men, they value creativity." The opinion of women about geeks isn't universal, so we seek a man's perspective on this subject too. Angad Bedi, an actor and host of Emotional Atyachar, says, "Factors like being loyal or understanding are subjective and vary from person to person. Nerds, if obsessed with technology might ignore their partners." But a risk still can be taken with geeks, considering those plus points!

ashima@tribunemail.com

Sand and A Million Suns
Jaipur Literature Festival dedicates one session to two legendary Punjabi poets, Lal Singh Dil and Sant Ram Udasi
Manpriya Khurana

Celebrations dotted with distinguished littérateurs, words punctuated with social causes, translations paragraphed into regional languages…pretty much the synopsis of the upcoming Jaipur Literature Festival. Nirupama Dutt, poet, journalist, gives context to the five-day extravaganza, as she leaves for anchoring a session at the festival. The underscored part of the entire itinerary is Punjab's Dalit writing, which will be featured at the festival as part of a special focus on Dalit writing from different parts of the country.

Shares Nirupama, "Last year at the festival Punjab was represented for the first time and there were translation work of the eminent writer Nanak Singh's Pavittar Paapi by his grandson Navdeep Suri."

As for this time, she adds, "There will be one session from Punjab, which is like asking for a lot, because it's a regional language and generally the focus mostly remains on English."

She adds, "In three other sessions, Dalit writers from Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Uttarkhand, Delhi and Maharshtra will be reading and discussing the focus of their writing." The writers being P. Sivakami, Om Praksh Valmiki, Kancha Ilaiah, Ajay Navaria and Laxman Gaikwad.

More on the stable from Punjab, the celebration is dedicated to the poetry of two people's poet of Punjab, the legendary Lal Singh Dil and Sant Ram Udasi. The session named A Million Suns after a poem of the name by late Lal Singh Dil will be dedicated to the Dalit literary traditions of Punjab. Says Nirupama, "I'll be giving an overview of the Dalit literary traditions of Punjab; the Dalit literature of the state is not one of mourning but it is more of celebrating." She adds, "Both these are very tall figures, Lal Singh Dil was a major contemporary poet and Udasi was a people's poet." She adds, "This time the theme is overall Dalit focus and Dalit literature at present is the strongest literature of Punjabi.

Carrying on with the details of the festival starting January 21, Iqbal Udasi, poet, daughter of Sant Ram Udasi will feature in the session too, reciting her own poems and singing the songs of her father. Not to forget Des Raj Kali, another person featuring in the session, representative fiction writer who's penned several novels and short stories on the ills of the caste system and those of the oppressed. And, what of her experiences last time? "Our programme was quite a hit and many people became sentimental also…Noted lyricist Gulzar too joined us." This while, it's sure to get bigger, better, bolder…

manpriya@tribunemail.com 

The Love Story ends
Erich Segal has left a huge cult following in the city
Jigyasa Kapoor Chimra

Love means never having to say you’re sorry, these lines from Erich Segal’s novel and movie Love Story made millions sob as the news of his death broke on a gloomy Wednesday noon. Suffering from Parkinson’s disease for 25 years, Segal died of a heart attack, his daughter Francesca Segal was quoted as saying.

And for our city, that has towering number of book lovers this news was a bolt from the blue. “Love story is one of the most popular romantic novels sold till date,” says Ajay Arora from Capital Book Depot-17. Ask him is this still the most loved romantic story and he says, “Definitely.” And, who picks it, “Most of the people have read this novel and it’s the very young adults who pick up this book. But I must add, people still want a book similar to this one, as there is none to beat it. And, with the author no more, the sales of the book would 
certainly rise.”

“A million seller, this book guaranteed to make readers cry and critics mellow down,” says Ritu Kochhar, director, corporate, INIFD-8. She adds, “This is one book that almost everyone has read and I must say this was a recommended read for the teenage.” What about his other books? “He had written a number of other novels also, but nothing compares to this one.”

Published in 1970, Love Story was a heartbreaking tale of a young couple who fall in love, marry and discover she is dying of cancer. Well, the novel was such a big hit that it was translated into 33 languages worldwide and the movie was a bigger hit and drew many more audience apart from the booklovers.

Recalling this as a novel that has been widely read, even by the ones who are not avid readers, Neel Kamal Puri, city-based author, says, “This was one of the books that was part of growing years. Just like Enid Blyton was the beginning for most, this novel was a definite part of teenage years. Though I don’t remember the writing style, but back in time when Love Story was released, it gained an iconic status. It was one of the novels that broke boundaries and was much loved across the globe.” Though Segal went on to write more novels and screenplays, including the 1977 sequel to Love story, called Oliver’s Story, none became a rage like his Love Story.

jigyasachimra@tribunemail.com

A pleasing palette
Ashima Sehajpal

It was a little difficult to comprehend what Sanjay Kumar depicted in his painting until Madan Lal, a city-based artist suggested, “Move a little away from the painting to realise what it is all about. The title of the work, Pawan, The force, rendered some help too. On a canvas of 69” by 69” (quite big for the usual size) was painted a horse in bright colours and gold, with its feet in the air, portraying speed. The base of the painting was in blue and white, highlighting the colourful horse. Next to it hangs the work by Kamal Kishore Swatantra, Aakrosh, with base in black, an abstract painting of crisscrossing sharp lines in red and yellow. Compare the art works to realise positivity juxtaposed with negativity.

The art exhibition, titled Untitled, unintentionally reflects many such contradictions, suggesting each artist’s perception. With over 100 artworks, including paintings, drawings, sculptures, photography and prints by 35 national-level artists, 21 being from other states, the art extravaganza at the Punjab Kala Bhawan is a treat for the eyes.

Delhi-based Mamoon Nomani’s series depicts the contrast of optimism with pessimism, again with symbolic sunrise or sunset. The painting has a sun in bright yellow and red colour with the backdrop in black.

A kind of paradox can be seen in the works by Surendra Pratap of Maharahstra. His painting, titled Couple, has a portrait of a man and a woman together, whose faces are half coloured and half white. But, the similarity in the same work is stark too, which becomes apparent with the facial expressions of the couple — expression of mutual admiration and love.

City’s very own Madan Lal follows the league too without a conscious effort. Three works from his recent semi-abstract series, Bull Within, depicts a bull inside the human being that at times plays a positive role of giving man strength to fight against all odds and then takes the shape of a devil, making him do wrong to others.

Figurative art by Anand C Shinde has mainly focused on the faces of men and women, with their eyes and expressions highlighted.

Sculpture by Deepak Verma of Chhattisgarh is of a bull in bronze. The bell in the neck of the bull and hump has been very intricately carved. Delhi-based Asurvedh has sculpted in bronze Lord Krishna’s face. Titled The Omnipresent, it is the peacock feather that symbolises the face of the god.

On till January 24.

Sound of sarangi
S.D SHARMA

Of all the musical instruments, the sound of sarangi is regarded as closest to the human voice and melodious but at the same time it is equally difficult to master the complex instrument. However, certainly all not that tough for Ustad Kamal Sabri who had not only attained adroit mastery over the instrument but contributed a lot to establish its melodic supremacy around the world.

Kamal has teamed up with the top international maestros like Hossam Ramzy, Talvin Singh, Taufiq Quereshi, Ricky Niles besides legends like Zakir Hussain and Fateh Ali Khan for concerts and album recordings. Kamal has the distinction of recording his genre of music for Hollywood films like Republic of Love, Winter of Love and Khamosh Pani, Sarhad Paar and others in Bollywood.

Representing the seventh generation of the most distinguished family of the Moradabad Senia ghrana, Kamal, at the age of five, was initiated into sarangi playing by his father Ustad Sabri Khan and his brilliance in playing the instrument came after strenuous riyaz.

He is the youngest Indian musician to participate in the 24 hours Millennium Concert in Paris, where he created history by providing accompaniment to nine Indian vocalists. He represented India at prestigious music festivals in Switzerland, Pakistan, Italy, Norway, China, France, Spain, Sweden, Surinman, Japan and all European countries.

On the invitation of Information, Public Relations and Cultural Affairs Department, Ustad Kamal Sabri will present a sarangi recital at Randhawa Auditorium (Punjab Kala Bhavan) at 6.30pm. 

Pride of the nation

Bollywood star Salman Khan was conferred the 'Pride of the Nation' award for spreading the message of patriotism, secularism and national integration through films. Constituted by Anti Terrorist Front, the award was presented to Salman by its chairman M.S Bitta and eight children, who are terror victims, at a function in New Delhi. Bitta said Salman was conferred the award for spreading the message of patriotism, secularism and national integration through films, including his new film Veer.

At the function, Khan and Bitta also presented ATF-Veer Bravery Awards to eight persons, including Delhi Police Inspector M C Sharma (posthumously for fighting terrorists) and Jammu and Kashmir braveheart Ruksana Kausar.

The others who were selected for the awards include Anuradha Gautam, a student who risked her life and rescued two children in Mathura train accident, and Kuldeep Singh, a DTC driver who saved at least 40 lives by throwing a bomb off the bus planted by terrorists.

Salman and Bitta also asked the audience to pledge that they will fight against terrorism. —PTI 

Guest list

It’s different
Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge? not slapstick comedy, says Ajay

Bollywood actor Ajay Devgan, who has just bagged the Stardust award for Reader's Choice best actor in comedy for All The Best, says his forthcoming film Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge? is a hilarious movie but unlike any slapstick comedy. "It is not a slapstick comedy. It's a lighthearted film. This comes under a different genre. There is sensibility along with humour. There is also an undercurrent emotion in it. After a long time I did a film of this kind," Ajay told reporters at the official launch of the upcoming film's website.

The film, directed by Ashwani Dhir, revolves around the story of Puneet (Ajay Devgan) and Munmun (Konkona Sen Sharma), a happily married couple living in Mumbai. Their life takes a turn when a distant relative Chachaji (Paresh Rawal) turns up unannounced at their doorstep from a far off village.

The chaos that follows makes it a rib tickling comedy where the agonised couple tries out various methods to get relief from him but fails time and again. The film is set to release February 26.

"There are mainly three characters and it's a problem between the three of them," said Ajay.

Konkona has always been offered serious roles and Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge? would be her first full-fledged comedy. "I am mainly seen as a serious actress... I am usually not given a chance to do films, which are more lighthearted in nature. That's why I am very grateful to the director and producer of 'Atithi...' that they thought of me for this character. I really enjoyed doing it," said Konkona.

"I think people will relate to the film a lot because this is basically reflecting on the lives of young couples today in Mumbai. There are people from all over the country coming here to make their lives. People are struggling and if they have guests coming from their village, there is a question of privacy. It's not like Delhi where you have huge sprawling houses. So I think because of all these factors people will relate to it," she added. — IANS

Online curse
Sudhir Mishra's Tera Kya Hoga Johnny leaked online

Dressing the divas
I want to dress Aishwarya and Rekha, says Prabal Gurung
Kripa Krishnan

From Oprah Winfrey to Demi Moore, his clientele includes some of the biggest names in Hollywood but designer Prabal Gurung says that it is Bollywood divas Aishwarya Rai and Rekha who are on top of his wish list. Gurung who was born in Singapore, grew up in Nepal and studied fashion in New Delhi says that India is "forever a part" of him and despite being settled in New York, he keenly follows Bollywood.

"I have loved and followed Bollywood since I was a young child so it is a permanent part of who I am. I would love to dress Aishwarya Rai and Sonam Kapoor or make an amazing sari for Rekha. Dressing any of these incredible women would be a dream come true," Gurung said.

The designer who has been hailed as the 'next YSL' by the fashion media, has described his collections as "clothes for the thinking man's sex symbol" and says that there are many Indian women who embody that aesthetic.

"I have always thought Rekha looked so beautiful in her traditional saris, Simi Garewal in her whites, Aishwarya looks good in anything. Dimple Kapadia and Sonam Kapoor, Tina Ambani and Neelam in their hey days and Sridevi now looks better than ever. These are the woman I would love to dress," said Gurung. — PTI 

Emotional padding
In India, around 15 million people suffer from various psychological disorders. Experts say the solution lies in raising emotionally secure kids
Mona

Today’s kids are self-centered, materialistic, impatient, rude ¾ the list is endless when it comes to criticising today’s youth. But aren’t they just the reflection of present day society? According to an NGO, Sanjivini Society for Mental Health, around 15 million people suffer from severe psychological disorders in India alone, of which a large chunk is youngsters facing pressures of study and work life. The situation is so bad that teenagers and those in their early 20s have become susceptible to mental illness like schizophrenia.

Time to take stock. Lifestyle talks to experts to find a way to raise kids who are emotionally secure.

“Our problem is we are not involved in whatever we do. As parents, we are busy in our professional lives, teacher taught relationship is superficial, points out Kiranpreet Kaur, a city based sociologist.  “To develop a healthy parent-child bond is the priority. Children demand attention. And, one needs to make an effort for that,” she says. “The world available to kids today is very fascinating, you have to come up with something equally fascinating or better to gain your child’s attention. Spend time, go out and get involved in your kids’ life. So is expected out of the teachers,” she adds.

“Parents try to use controlling methods and children by nature are rebellious. So, restraining proves ineffective and alienates the kid,” says Punita Singh, counsellor with Carmel Convent-9. “Also, one major thing that is proving disastrous for kids and going unnoticed is children’s dependence on electronic devices.  Televisions, cell phones, laptops create havoc in their emotional lives. Studies have shown that they actually damage brain cells. Parents themselves are responsible for handing over gadgets to kids. Even adults are not able to handle its pressure, how can kids,” she asks. But the solution is not to tell your kid to get off Facebook but sit and tell why is it not good for them, she advises.

Another thing that she recommends is to accept that children will make mistakes. “It’s part of growing up. One needs to support the child. Tell the children what is expected out of them. Sit together, prepare a time table that makes room for studies, games and other social activities. Let go of the ego and be your child’s friend,” she signs off.

mona@tribunemail.com

Whine and dine

The fast-paced modern lifestyle has taken its toll on family gatherings, especially the traditional family dinner, a new study has found. The Spam Chopped Pork and Ham surveyed 3,000 Brits to launch its Cook of the Year 2010 competition and found that a decade ago the average time for serving dinner was 5.46pm, with nearly four out of every five families always eating together.

However, today the dinner time has been pushed to 6.22pm, with nearly a quarter of the families never dining together.

While 27per cent report that they have dinner once their children have gone to bed, over a third say everyone eats at different times.

And 85 per cent blame the increase in the number of working women for later dinner. “It is not surprising that so many of us are eating dinner later owing to changes in modern lifestyles,” company spokesman Rebecca Hurn said. “Mums are juggling managing the home with a career, while dads are working longer hours. To top it off, children have their own hectic after-school schedule,” Phil Vickery, celebrity chef and supporter of the contest, said.

“We hope this competition will encourage families to experiment with convenient yet high-quality food,” he added.

The poll also discovered that 43per cent wanted their family to make more effort so that they could sit for meals together. Also, nearly two thirds wished they had time to prepare nice meals in the evenings. —ANI 

Key to success
Highly motivated individuals more likely to succeed

Those who value excellence and hard work do better than others on specific tasks when they are reminded of those values. But when a task is presented as fun, researchers say, the same individuals often will do worse than those who say they are less motivated to achieve.

The findings suggest that two students may respond quite differently to a teacher’s exhortation to strive for excellence, said University of Illinois (U-I) psychology professor, Dolores Albarracín, who conducted the research with William Hart, of the University of Florida.

The study also suggests that those who are “chronically uninterested in achievement are not operating out of a desire to do badly, Albarracín said. Their differing responses simply may reflect the fact that they have different goals.“The competitive mindset, the achievement mindset becomes a huge de-motivator for those who don’t necessarily value excellence as much as they value their well-being, Albarracín said.

“Perhaps the reason they don’t care to do well is because they want to do something else; they want to enjoy themselves - which is not a bad goal,” she said.

In four studies, the researchers evaluated how participants’ attitudes toward achievement, called their “chronic achievement motivation,” influenced their performance on various tasks. The study appeared in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. —IANS

Born misers

BOND WAGON
Friends forever

Relationship: Friends 

Charu Attri and Radhika Bhutani

Time together: 9 years

Same-to-same: Fond of food, self-styled food ambassadors of KFC, shopaholics, party animals and movie junkies.

Yet different: Charu is into music and Radhika in sports

Unforgettable moments: On Radhika’s last birthday, Charu with her gang landed up at 12 noon right in the examination hall with all the party stuff for a surprise.

Lucky charm: Each other. Before anything important Charu doesn’t forget to see Radhika and vice-versa.  

Special something: Singing and dancing that goes on while riding Activa

(Radhika is a BBA student, Charu is doing B.Com)

 If you want to feature here, please email at lifestyletribune@gmail.com or mail on Bond Wagon, Lifestyle, The Tribune, Sector 29 Chandigarh along with a photograph and contact number

Renee Writes
Believe in yourself

I am a college going boy and in love with a classmate. I feel I have found my soul mate in her. I really don't know how she feels about me but I do know that I would love to connect with her and take her out. How can I approach her in a manner that shall not seem overbearing or offensive? Please guide me to do the right thing. I do not want to spoil things before they start. Help me to get going please.
Anurag Mathur
Panchkula

It is good to know that youngsters are beginning to trust their instincts. If you are convinced about something in life honestly, half the battle is won. When we make up our minds to do something the universe conjoins with us to help us achieve it. So, just decide what do you want to do. You can of course just ask her for a cup of coffee in your canteen to discuss some class work. Her reaction to your suggestion will surely give you a good idea on how to deal with the situation further. Nothing in life happens overnight. Take it slowly in your stride and watch your relationship progress with love and resilience. Remember if its meant to be it will happen, but do give it the gentle push to set the ball rolling.

Let there be love

I am a 28 year-old girl who is engaged to be married to a 35 year-old engineer from the U.S. I am partly excited as I have some apprehensions about how my life is going to turn now. I have spent all my life trying to impress my parents but they have never praised me for anything. They have only criticised me no matter how well I performed in school or college. I was made to feel that I am never good enough for anything. My mother was often physically abusive and I feel that has left me shattered in someway. Now that I am getting married my childhood fears are surfacing again and I fear of serious emotional suffering. Please help me.
Alice Dsouza
Chandigarh

Why are you allowing so much of emotional pain to enter your life? A poet said, Ah for the follies of youth. C'mon just live it up and not allow the dark clouds of negativity to get around to you. Yes, what happens in our childhood does leave this absolutely indelible impression on our hearts and minds but we happen to be the creators of our own inner reality. Please wipe off all the pain and look for the beauty that is available around you. You have a completely new life ahead of you and a chance to make a whole new pattern rather than re-living the past. But if you don't rid of the old wound you will go into the same wind again. Enjoy! Live life on your terms. God is always by your side, trust him. All will be well for you.

Take charge

I am a 34 year-old woman and suffering from anger and depression. My life has not been easy ever since I remember. I was raised by a very angry mother who beat me each time I did not listen to her; I grew up feeling very resentful towards her. Because of my mothers attitude I got married to the first man who proposed to me thinking I would find love in marriage, but this did not happen. My husband's was a very angry man and used to beat me a lot. I have one daughter but I left my husband's home and now I am back to my mother's house again. Why is this happening to me? I feel angry with God and life. I was a beautiful girl but my sad and miserable life has left a toll on me. Please tell me what to do.
Neha Aggarwal
Panchkula

Life as you perceive, seems to have been not so fair. So, I would suggest that you stop lying back and wait for life to happen. Just go ahead and take charge. Remember God helps those who help themselves. You must have clarity of thoughts and perception and a clear goal in your mind. Until you don't work on your relationship with your mother you will continue to attract the same kind of situation. You have to make a huge mental effort to break out of your pattern. This might take a while but it will happen, only then will the situations in your life start changing and your life start moving into a better future. Get rid of your anger and reach out with love. You will only receive what you send. Value yourself and raise your self-esteem. Only you can do it. Just forget the past, pray for guidance and move on with your life.