Agony and ecstasy

For India, 2009 can best be remembered as the year of the re-election, records (of bat and bullion) and rejoicing at the Oscars, writes Amar Chandel

It is that time of the year when it is customary to look back and ahead simultaneously. Thinking of the future first, I have made one resolution: I will not make any resolutions this time. What is the point when I know very well that, like politicians, I am going to break them right from January 2?

As far as learning from the past is concerned, let me confess that I have learnt nothing. That is because being a typical, standard, average Indian voter, my memory is phenomenally short. I conveniently forget all inconvenient happenings and remember all good ones. So, I have only wonderful feelings about the year that is now on its last legs.

For example, I have all but forgotten that this year the Rajya Sabha witnessed the unprecedented spectacle of one honorable MP grabbing another by the collar. Needless to say, I have also forgotten how certain MNS goons (read MLAs) manhandled a Samajwadi Party MLA right inside the Maharashtra Assembly for daring to take the oath in national language Hindi instead of amchi Marathi. After all, they only did what their brethren had been doing to "outsiders" on the streets of metropolitan Mumbai all this while. No special concession for MLAs.

Precedents have been set and such parliamentary gestures may be re-enacted in Parliament and assemblies in the days to come, though not very often, because the Lok Sabha now meets only about 46 times in a year. In the first decade of 1952-61, there was a yearly average of 124 sittings, which fell to 81 between 1992 and 2001. Governing the country has become a lot easier, it seems.

Ignoring all such depressing fare, all I remember is that this year, we did something which we do rarely: re-electing a Prime Minister. Shows that miracles do happen even in this Kaliyug! Otherwise, who would have bet six years ago that Dr Manmohan Singh would ever become a Prime Minister, let alone get a second term? He did that in 2009, becoming, in the process, the second Prime Minister after Jawaharlal Nehru to do so after a full five-year term. Perhaps, even honest men have a future in politics.

The honest ones may need a luck line as long as that of the good Professor of Economics to survive, but the dishonest ones will certainly thrive and prosper. The year saw new benchmarks in illegal gratification. Madhu Koda, who was the Chief Minister of Jharkhand from 2006 to 2008, showed that politics is indeed the highest paying profession in the country. In this short span, he was found to have made over Rs 4,000 crore—almost a fifth of the budget of the state he once ruled. No mean picking for a person who began his career as a labourer. Not only that, it was found during the probes that the Maoists received 30 per cent share of the "Koda plunder".

Investigators even found money-counting machines, of the kind normally banks boast of, at his residence. But then, my memory being what it is, I will soon forget all that and may even vote for hamara neta Koda the next time, whether he contests as a free man or from jail.

If a Rs 4,000-crore scam can be forgotten, then it is cakewalk to condone small-change scandals like the Jharkhand medical equipment scam, worth ONLY Rs 130 crore and the rice export scam worth Rs 2,500 crore. But it will be a little harder to push out of mind the issue of illegal mining in Orissa, particularly Keonjhar, Sundargarh and`A0 Mayurbhanj districts, adjoining Jharkhand, which may be worth a staggering Rs 50,000 crore. After all, crores don’t mean much in these inflation-hit times. In any case, this money was put to public use: for electioneering. Suddenly, the expenditure of candidates in the affected area increased ten-fold. And as we all know, everything is fair in love, war and elections.

Thanks to such worthies, India continued to be among the most corrupt nations in the world during 2009 also. Now, we have only a few countries like Pakistan, the Maldives, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh to overtake.

For the neta types, hundreds of crores may be loose change. But for the salaried you and me, it is a figure too big to comprehend. That is why we do not bother where it is coming and going. What we do bother is how far our Rs 100 note is going. With the surge in prices, it does not go very far. In fact, at times it does not go anywhere at all. How can it, when even the lowly dal sets you back three figures per kg and the tomatoes tend to be costlier than eggs?

I have spent this year wondering why the prices always rise faster than price indices. Economists tell us that it is so because there is quite a large basket of items that determines the index. But what mattered more to me was that my basket was as good as empty. Perhaps, the government will soon prove statistically how the increase in prices helped in a 20 per cent weight reduction among the citizens of the country. India Shining to India Dieting.

My family budget went as wrong as the political calculations of Bhupinder Singh Hooda, who called elections early in the hope that he would be able to duplicate in Haryana the good show of the Congress in the parliamentary poll. The electoral losses he suffered were as phenomenal as the gains made by the free-floating Independents and HJC MLAs who helped form a government. Kuldeep Bishnoi, who found the ground stolen from under his feet, must start taking lessons from someone other than his father Bhajan Lal, a self-styled Ph. D in politics.

In the neighbouring Punjab, MLAs found their turbans tossed about right there in the Assembly hall during the fracas over the Ludhiana clashes. The reports about what happened must be censored if we have to take up our case strongly with France and other governments to let Indian students wear turbans to schools.

The practice of selective amnesia will be wonderful in the sports arena as well. Let us forget that 2009 was the worst year in the history of Indian sports in terms of doping. Since the National Anti-Doping Agency became operational in January this year, 24 drug cheats were handed two-year bans.

Apart from the bodybuilders, the drug cheats included four athletes, two weightlifters and as many power-lifters. The decision in respect of four sportspersons—three bodybuilders and an athlete—was reserved. Also, NADA will soon finalise the dates for the hearing of another 11 dope cases involving seven bodybuilders, two cyclists, a weightlifter and a`A0boxer.`A0

Adverse analytical findings in respect of 13 sportspersons (weightlifting: seven, athletics and bodybuilding: two each, cycling and judo: one each) were reported recently.`A0

Instead, we need to bask in the glory of the Number 1 spot we occupied in Test cricket for the first time. Celebrations should be quick because the position may be taken away from us soon enough.

What cannot be taken away is the brilliance of Virender Sehwag, Sachin Tendulkar and Yuvraj Singh, all of whom showed that they were true-blue crown jewels. If I could donate my life for those seven runs which deprived Sehwag of his third triple century, I would have done so. Come on Sehwag, make amends in 2010.

Our sister publication, Dainik Tribune, gave a befitting headline recently "Sachin aur sona 14,000 paar" (both Sachin and gold cross the figure of 14,000). While we wish Sachin more such milestones, may gold show a full stop soon. It is rising faster than Sachin.

But if you want to come back to the ground, do look at the bowling department. In a one-day international at Rajkot, we scored 414 runs and yet could beat Sri Lanka by just three runs in the last ball.

While on the ground, there was reason to feel ecstatic that we had our own Nano to strut in.

For the cinema buffs, 2009 brought the grand-daddy of them all, the multiple Oscars for Slumdog Millionaire. The film directed by Danny Boyle was nominated for 10`A0Academy Awards in 2009`A0and won eight, the most for any film of 2008, including`A0Best Picture,`A0Best Director and`A0Best Adapted Screenplay. It also won seven`A0BAFTA Awards`A0(including`A0Best Film), five`A0Critics' Choice Awards, and four`A0Golden Globes.`A0

The moot question is whether the international juries would have been equally lavish in heaping praise on the film if it was made by an Indian and did not show so much of poverty and corruption.

By the way, if you know of a school in a slum area where Three Musketeers is taught at the primary level, do let me know.

Let’s not do nitpicking. Instead, let’s celebrate that the Indian audiences have started patronising some offbeat films like Dev D. Not only that, a foreign film like 2012 became one of the big grossers. Shows that the demand for quality films is increasing. It is another matter that for most, quality is synonymous with action and spectacle, even if it is a grand computer-generated disaster.

Oddly enough, there is no dearth of those who actually think that it is going to be pack-up time for the earth soon enough. Sorry to disappoint you folks, but it will be better if you forget all that crap the astrologers feed you. Even our MPs have asked in the Rajya Sabha whether it is a fact that planet X is heading towards Earth at a speed of 20,00,000 miles a year and may come close or collide with it anytime after 2010 to cause destruction in the form of an earthquake and tsunami. Asking such questions is a great improvement on the earlier propensity to take money for asking questions.

The idiot box made a perfect idiot of us with Rakhi Sawant’s swayamvar. The whole tamasha was about as genuine as some of those WWF bouts on the tube. Our misfortune is that the programme caught enough eyeballs to make the producers bold enough to put a similar garland in the hands of Rahul Mahajan. Equally "riveting" was the Big Boss fare. I would rather get my teeth drilled.

Let’s usher in 2010 with garlands. What the future holds in its bosom is not known, but one big thing that is certainly coming our way is the Commonwealth Games. Be sure that we will make a grand success of it. So what if work on some roads, bridges, hotels, housing projects and stadia is behind schedule! No hurry, no worry. Welcome 2010, but please come a little slowly.

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