WEBSIDE HUMOUR

Same model

A doctor said to his car mechanic, “Your debit is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care.”

“Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn’t changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every year.”

Shape up

The train was about to pull out of the station. Swinging a large bag, a young man managed to reach the train, throw his bag in and climb aboard, gasping for air.

Looking at him, another man said, “Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a gnat’s whisker and still be fresh. Look at you, panting away.”

The young man took a deep breath and said, “Pop, I missed this train at the ‘last’ station.”

Slip of tongue

Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom asks him what the problem is. “Well,” said Eric, “It’s one of those women’s questions. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.”

“What kind of question?” asked Tom.

“My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly.” “That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will’”.

“Yeah”, said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said, ‘Of course, I DO’”.

Swimming pool

Three patients in a mental institution are all set to take an examination given by the head psychiatrist. The doctor takes them to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms. Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs. The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

“Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor. To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma