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Webside HUMOUR
Fishing trip
Two men went fishing. One was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn’t. Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back. The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing the man waste good fish. “Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?” he asked. The inexperienced fisherman replied, “I only have a small frying pan.”
Pet perfectA man went to a pet shop and asked for a bird that could sing. The proprietor brought out a gorgeous tropical bird, looked the bird in the eye, puckered his lips and started to whistle. The bird took up the very note and finished the tune with
him.
“That’s mighty fine,” the customer said, “but I’d never pay money for that bird. His right leg’s crippled.”“I thought you wanted me to sing!” cried the bird. “I gotta dance, too?” Foreign languageA Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. “Excusez-moi, parlez vous Fracais?” he tries. The two continue to stare. “Parlare Italiano?” No response. “Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.” “Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.” Grammar lessonTeacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I’. Millie: I is... Teacher: No, Millie... Always say, “I am”. Millie: All right... “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.” Heights of stupidityWife: “I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are”.
Husband: “You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me”. Word meaningsHusband: “Do you know the meaning of WIFE”? “It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime”! Wife: “No darling, it means, ‘With Idiot For Ever’”. Compiled by Sunil Sharma
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