Webside Humour

Husband: "Darling, my sweet heart I will be enjoying this Sunday."

Wife: "How?"

Husband: "I bought three tickets for the movie".

Wife: "That’s great, but we are two, why you bought three tickets?

Husband: "One for you, one for your mother and one for your brother."

In between

A man was standing first in line for tickets from those who had cancelled their reservations to a sold-out play. The manager said he had two together, and pointed to the two women behind the man.

"You wouldn’t want to come between mother and daughter, would you?"

The man turned around, and replied, "No. I did that once, and regretted it right up until the divorce."

"Doctor, you were right when you said you’d have me on my feet and walking in no time".

"That’s good John; when did you start walking"?

"When I got your bill doctor, I had to sell my car to pay it".

Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?"

"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where’d you pick ’em up?"

Richard beamed. "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"

"I’ll say. What was the occasion?"

"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma

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