Ulta Pulta
Politics of austerity
Jaspal Bhatti

Sonia Gandhi travelled to Mumbai by economy class so as to set example for UPA members to embrace austerity measures. A minister was entertaining guests. He asked his peon to bring tea. The peon served tea with plain biscuits. "Where are cashew nuts or some namkeen?" The peon whispered to the minister, "Sir, don’t you remember you are not supposed to pamper yourself with kajus and badams in public since we are taking austerity measures?" The minister apologised to his guests on offering them plain biscuits, "Kindly bear with us till the elections are over".

The minister’s private secretary reminded him about his next appointment that was of a ribbon-cutting ceremony. "Call for my BMW in the porch," he instructed his PA. The PA said, "Sir, the BMW is already waiting in the porch but we have asked your security men to sit in it and follow your vehicle." The minister asked, "And which vehicle is that?" We have arranged for a Maruti 800 due to an austerity drive, sir," replied the PA.

In the evening a big businessman came to meet the minister. He had come to ask the minister to get done some work. To grease the wheels of government, he offered the minister Rs 10 lakh. The minister was furious, "Didn’t anybody tell you that I don’t take less than Rs 20 lakh for such work?" The businessman said, "Sir, I know your rate, but I thought since you were observing an economy week and you might have lowered your bribe rates too!" The minister shouted, "You idiot! We are setting the white economy right, not the black one."

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