Webside HUMOUR
Perfect light

Halfway through a romantic dinner at a cozy little restaurant, a husband smiled and said to his wife, "You look so beautiful under these lights."

She was falling in love with him all over again, until he added, "We gotta get some of these lights for home."

This little girl comes home from her first day at school and says, "I’m never going to school again." Her father asks why.

She says, "The teacher said the 5+5 = 10. Then she said the 6+4 = 10, and 7+3 = 10 and 8+2 = 10 and 9+1 = 10."

The father asks, "What’s your point?"

"She needs to make up her mind."

"You just go ahead," the man in the shopping mall said to his wife. "While you’re shopping, I’ll browse in the hardware store."

An hour later, she returned and saw him at the checkout counter. The clerk was ringing up the last of a pile of tools and supplies that would fill two wheelbarrows.

"Are you buying all this?" his wife asked incredulously.

"Well, yes," he said, embarrassed. Then waving his arm toward the interior of the store, he added, "But look at all the stuff I’m leaving behind."

A woman on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics.

Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and asked, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"

"Really," he said, "have you tried mouthwash?"

The minister and his wife place an ad for a butler. Early the next morning a nicely dressed young man appears at their front door.

The minister asks him, "Can you fix breakfast by 7:00 a.m. every day?"

"Well ... I guess I can."

"And can you make the beds, dust the living room, do the dishes, cut the grass, and polish the silver also?"

"Gee, Sir, I just came by to see about getting married. But if it’s going to be that much work, you can count me out."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma