Webside HUMOUR
Strong chance

Cost cutting

To cut back on the expenses, a wife persuaded her husband to give up drinking beer. He gave it up but noticed the other day when she came home from grocery shopping. The receipt included $45 in makeup.

He said, “Wait a minute I’ve given up beer and you haven’t given up anything.”

She said, “I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you.”

“Hell, that’s what the beer was for”, he retorted.

Door of Heaven

There is a knock on St Peter’s door. He looks out and a man is standing there. St Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A short time later there’s another knock. St Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears once again.

“Hey, are you playing games with me?” St Peter calls after him.

“No,” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously. “They’re trying to resuscitate me.”

Delivery truck

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”

The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.”

Camping experience

It was the first camping experience for Paul. As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods. In about 15 minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding and dishevelled.

“What happened?” asked a fellow camper.

“I was chased by a black snake,” cried the frightened Paul.

The other camper laughed and retorted, “A black snake isn’t deadly.”

“Listen,” groaned Paul, “if he can make you jump off a 50-foot cliff, he is.”

Kill bill

A patient after the successful operation at a private hospital said to his friend: “I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma