WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Being sensitive

Just before their first long deployment two Navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives’ emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack.’

A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead. Furious at the factory’s incompetence, he promptly sent the part back along with a letter giving them a piece of his mind. Less than a week later, he received the same part back with a letter containing just four words: "TURN THE PART OVER."

An elderly gentleman was strolling through a quiet residential neighbourhood when he came upon a little boy sitting on the curb, crying. "What’s the trouble, son?" he asked. "Are you lost?"

"Worse than that," the youngster sobbed. "Mom lost her book on child- rearing and now she’s using her own judgement."

Teacher: Jeff, have you been copying Johnny’ test again?

Jeff: Yes, but how did you know?

Teacher: On question #1, Johnny put down "I don’t know" And you put down "Me neither".

The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm. "This time you’re doing fine!" exclaimed the instructor. "Yes," the novice driver agreed.

"Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes."

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what! We learned how to make babies today"

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That’s interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?"

It’s simple, replied the girl. "You just change y to i and add es."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma