A wise man once said, It’s no disgrace to start over, it’s usually an opportunity. And what if this opportunity comes your way after a failed marriage, or let’s say because you decided so. We are talking about mothers who single-handedly took charge of their as well as their children’s life, shoving away the conventional hazards of single parenting in a society that conveniently works on taboos and tags.

If we had a shining example in the form of Sushmita Sen who gladly broke the ‘can’t be a mother without marriage’ taboo and inspired many others to follow, we were equally inspired by Alesia Raut, (the stunner model who recently visited the city for a fashion show), for her guts to walk out of an abusive relationship and then take her two-year old son’s custody. Well that’s from the glam world, but from the real life we have women in our own city, who decided to live life on their own terms— for the sake of their kids. Divorce or determination, these single mothers need no back-up, or a man to take care of them. “Being a divorcee is not a label any more. But it’s an option for a woman to choose a happy life over a compromise. And kids are no more a reason to stay in a stifling relationship,” says Neeru Talwar, a manager with a reputed educational organisation in the city. Taking a failed marriage in her stride, the woman, who didn’t even complete her studies when she got married, started her life from the scratch with two children in tow.

“I never wanted a bechari tag after my divorce. My options were not crying and feeling sorry for myself, but giving my children a better future, a good lifestyle, sans a back-up,” she says. Her two teenaged children are looking forward to a shining future.

Another ‘odd one out’ is Nirupama Dutt, a single mom by choice and not fate. After 11 years of a highly successful profession in the media, the lady decided to become a mother but not marry. “Mine was always a mother-daughter household, so when I decided to adopt, I did not face much opposition and had the support of my family and friends. But even then, when you take such decisions, it comes as a surprise,” she says. What about community acceptance? “The term society is very abstract, and not only just Indian but all societies work on this man-woman-child module. To stand and fight for your decision needs inner resources. If you accept it, then the world will accept it too, no one can come and question you,” says Nirupama.

Neeru, on the other hand, has an aggressive approach towards the topic, “You have to choose between living life as a social servant or being a survivor. Problems do come, but you have to be determined and courageous enough to face them. No one comes to wipe your tears or clean your mess.” But after the struggle comes the satisfaction. “It’s been a rewarding experience in a complete respect,” shares Nirupama. As for Neeru, “I am happy to have made my own identity and lead a dignified life.” And now she is ready to lend a hand to others by opening an NGO for counseling and providing help to single parents.

Coming back to Alesia Raut, the supermodel example of a single mom. The young half-Russian and half-Indian beauty walked out of an abusive marriage and went on to make a mark in the glamour world. “I had to fight for my son, Mark, as he was in Russia. But the Indian embassy helped me and once I got him back my only aim was to rebuild our lives. I could have broken down completely after my marriage failed, but I decided otherwise,” she says. Of course, and it was the best that could happen to them.

lifestyle@tribunemail.com

Blame technology! Kids glued to online games, youngsters dating on the Net, women busy shopping online and men checking out the stock exchange or cricket scores, while everything else takes a backseat. … So much to crib about, yet so much to gain from technology! For those who are still regressive about hi-tech life, online Rakshabandhan may serve as a pointer to the utility of virtual living. Had it been not there, a certain Seema Sharma would have rushed to a post office exactly a month before Rakhi to send a post to her brother in some far-off country. Not to forget another clause, there isn’t any surety that it would reach her brother on D-day or whether it would reach at all. But online rakhi shopping makes delivery certain, easier, and simpler.

“It’s convenient to choose an online rakhi for my brother who’s now settled in England. I even buy the special Rakhi thali and chocolates for him by making an online payment for it,” says Amanpreet Kaur Ahuja, MBA Part I student, UIAMS, PU.

She first sent an online rakhi to her brother five years back when the rakhi sent through post didn’t reach him. “I posted him a rakhi one month before the festival, but when my brother didn’t receive it even two days before Rakshabandhan, without wasting any time, I bought an online one for him.”

One might not even get the mind-boggling variety of rakhi in the market as is available online. On Indiagiftscorner.com, there is a collection of over 1000 rakhis in different designs, embellished with pearls, silver and gold. Another website, sendrakhi.com adds an emotional touch to the ritual of sending rakhis along with a festival related songs and poems that can be dedicated to the brother.

Deepa Sharma, a banking professional, prefers to send rakhi to her brother in Australia by post or courier for the various other facilities that online rakhi sites offer. “All I am required to do is make the payment and the rest is taken care of. I have sent chocolates, Indian sweets and other such gifts to him through online rakhi sites.” As for this year, her plans are even better, “I plan to send him his favourite chocolate truffle cake. We celebrate Rakhsabandhan through videoconference. He ties the rakhi and even have chocolates that I send him.”

Well, online rakhi sites aren’t just a one-stop shop for sisters; even brothers can use it to send return gifts on Rakshabandhan through it. The site, tokenzexpressyourself will help brothers choose from a wide range of fashion jewellery, chocolates, apparel, soft toys etc. You still blame technology? Bet not!

Around the world If you still prefer to send a rakhi through the time-tested means, courier, it would cost you around Rs 2,000 to the UK and Australia. Online rakhi for England costs a little more and if you are planning to send chocolates too, be ready to shell out a little more. But let us caution you, be sure of the credibility of the sites, sending online rakhi might be just a fraudulent way of taking money from people.

ashima@tribunemail.com

Raksha Bandhan is an auspicious occasion to celebrate the unifying and ever-lasting bond of love, care and respect between brothers and sisters.

This Rakhi season, distances will not matter any more. On this special occasion, Blue Dart-DHL brings Rakhi Express, to help sisters reach out to their brothers with all their love, affection and wishes without any difficulty, even during the uncertain monsoons.

Rakhi Express is a special offer by Blue Dart and DHL to salute the spirit of this festival and comes at a specially discounted price.

Domestic Offer:

With Rakhi Express, sisters can send rakhis to their brother through the extensive Blue Dart network across the country and can rest assured of timely, safe and intact delivery.

Blue Dart offers two options:

Rakhi Box: Sisters can send rakhi and tikka wrapped in specially designed handcrafted boxes. The box also contains a card with a message and note explaining the essence of the Rakhi.

Price: Rs 200

Rakhi envelope: Sisters can also send their rakhi in a specially designed envelope to beat any weather condition.

Price: Rs150

International Offer:

Through DHL’s global network, customers can also send rakhi to 220 countries across the world. The ‘DHL Express Easy Rakhi’ services come with exclusive discounts on cash tariff – 30 per cent off for all zones and 50 per cent off for certain zones, including the USA. This offer is applicable for packages less than 500 gms and valid from July 20 to August 10.

Another story of a small town success in a big city of dreams—it’s a story of Abhinit Kumar Puri, a young guy from Kalka who is busy firming the ground beneath his feet in the tinsel town. Acting was not by chance but by choice for Abhinit, who plays the lead in Kasak, a daily drama on DD National currently. This, and a movie Apni Yaari Jaan Se Pyaari, after in Kyunki Saas Bhi…, Kesar, Bhabhi, Dil Ke Door Dil Ke Paas.

“Acting was always on my mind, but I was clueless about how to enter the industry. So, enroute my journey to filmdom I took up a job with Reliance and moved to Mumbai,” he shares. But when just dropping portfolio and photographs didn’t work, he took up Anupam Kher’s acting classes. “That helped me realise that acting isn’t just about expression. Script, focus, improvisations, body language everything has to gel with each other,” he says.

After the initial struggles and a zillion auditions, he has found his comfort in Mumbai. “It is difficult to make your presence felt without a godfather, or god gifted talent. I don’t have an acting or theatre background, so my struggle is an extended one. But the city and my dream never lost grasp,” he shares.

Playing the lead opposite a new actress in the movie Apni Yaari Jaan Se Pyaari and another two projects in kitty, he is trying to balance movies and television. “Both are very different in their approach and treatment. But I am happy doing either or both as long as I establish my own place,” he says. His inspirations, Al Pacino and Shahrukh Khan make us ask him, hungry for fame? “Yeah, like all others,” he replies. So, why not try reality TV? “I would keep myself away from that. I cannot handle the loudness and vulgarity required to survive,” he is straightforward to say. — Neha Walia

Tanishq on Monday announced a free diamond pendant offer, a unique campaign designed to meet the aspirations of the Indian woman to own gold and possess diamonds.

This offer entitles customers to get a diamond pendant free on the purchase of every 20 gm of gold jewellery or every Rs 20,000-worth diamond jewellery from Tanishq. As the value of the purchase increases, customers will be rewarded with diamond jewellery of a higher value. The offer lasts till August 31.— TNS

Not that it will make any difference, but amateur gardeners must know about what kind of plants they have in their garden. You are aware there are trees, shrubs, climbers, herb etc and there are certain characteristics that give a plant a specification. But there are exceptions too.

When we talk about a climber, the first thing that comes to mind is a weak-stemmed plant that climbs up a given structure with the help of a modified stem called a tendril or self-clinging structures or by twining itself against any structure. They may even use thorns to climb up like in case of bougainvillea or climber roses. They may also climb up with the help of some secretion from their growing point.

Some of the plants could be used both as climbers or shrubs. Say for example, the Allamanda. Call it a weak-stemmed climber or a shrub. The branches grow very long but these are weak and bend down especially when laden with flowers and that too almost throughout the year barring the extreme winter months. It can be trained on any structure. The flowers are golden trumpet shaped and appear in bunches. When in flowering, you see not the plant but flowers. Such an effect can be achieved more when the plant is trained as a shrub by giving repeated head back.  So? Call it a shrub or a climber?

There is another very beautiful garden plant Clerodendron thompsoniae (see the accompanying picture). This is also a weak-stemmed climber but could be groomed as a shrub, again by repeated heading. It bears unusual kind of flowers. The sparkling white calyx of the flowers is quiet prominent and comes out of it the crimson red flower. 

And, who does not know about the common bougainvillea? Use it as a climber, a shrub, pot plant or a bonsai. It fits all slots. The best potential of such plants is exploited now when we are adapting more of the vertical dwelling units. You can train this as climber to any heights and the beauty is that they flower right from the base to the top.

Myth of the week Systematic strategy That the rains wash away the chemicals that we spray to check insects and diseases. It is necessary to spray different chemicals for control of various insects and diseases. But during the rainy season, one has to be particular as rains do wash some of the chemicals. During this season, one should go in for those insecticides and fungicides that are systemic in nature. Systemic chemicals are those that go into the plant system. To make it easy for you, it means they get mixed with plant ‘blood’. The insects that feed on the plants or suck sap from the leaves of such sprayed plants get killed. Such chemicals need only a few hours of dry spell after spraying as they get absorbed by the plant. Bavistin is one such fungicide and rogor or metasystox are such insecticides.

satishnarula@yahoo.co.in

The world market is piling up with GPS Satellite Navigation, be it then on a mobile phone, PDA, laptop or a wristwatch. GPS is not a gadget it is a system, which helps us navigate. There are different kinds of navigation equipments available in the market; the two-type of methods, which are used the most, are Mapping Navigation System and Non –Mapping navigation system.

Mapping GPS: While all GPS units will keep track of your whereabouts and guide you to a chosen location, mapping GPS receivers display this information on road maps, marking your position in relation to highways, main roads, landmarks and cities. The unit shows your current position with a marker and the road map scrolls underneath showing your progress. This makes mapping GPS units most useful for drivers. In short a Mapping GPS guides us from one destination to the other with the help of mapping.

INQ1. Facebook phone comes with a standard 12-key, keypad rather than a QWERTY keyboard and there is no Wi-Fi, but these don't really matter when it does the job it set out to do so well. With social networking sites becoming popular the brilliant INQ1 will find its way into the pocket of many teens and dedicated social networker with instant access to Facebook, Skype and YouTube.

Bollywood actor Amrita Rao today said that she isn’t in love with actor Shahid Kapoor. “We aren’t in love as it appears in media reports,” she told reporters on the sidelines of a function. “I sometimes read news that Shahid and I are in love but it is not so,” she said.

Rao said she and Shahid together in a film were liked by the movie buffs on the big screen.

She said it was their privilege that people come to see them together on the screen and for this they often see our movies. “I am not in love with anyone,” she remarked.

The actor said she doesn’t want to be confined to a particular role and wants to play different roles. “I want to do something in the movies for which the people remember me for a long,” she said. — PTI

Veteran Bollywood actors Dharmendra and Asha Parekh were honoured with lifetime achievement awards during the second Nashik International Film Festival (NIFF). While Dharmendra was felicitated by Maharashtra Deputy Chief Minister Chhagan Bhujbal, a memento and citation was presented to Asha Parekh by Devisingh Shekhavat, husband of President Pratibha Patil here last night.Dharmendra recalled his association with Nashik and said he was overwhelmed as he was being felicitated at the birth place of late Dadasaheb Phalke, father of Indian cinema.

Asha Parekh urged people to enjoy life and stay united.

Festival Director Mukesh Kaneri, actor Shekhar Suman, veteran actress Shammi, child artist Avika Gaur, State Minister for Health Shobha Bachhav, NCP MP Sameer Bhujbal were present on the occasion yesterday which also marked the conclusion of the festival. — PTI

Actor Rajeev Khandelwal may have defended his show Sach Ka Saamna as a “tool of truth”, but his mother believes that the popular TV programme often crosses the lines of societal propriety.

The contents of the show which delves into the personal and sexual histories of contestants has been described as degrading to “Indian culture” by parliamentarians and social activists and Khandelwal’s mother in Jaipur has echoed similar sentiments.

“The format is interesting, but sometimes I think it is best not to probe into certain aspects of a person’s life for the sake of the society and their families,” the host’s mother Vijayalaxmi Khandelwal, said.

While Khandelwal’s mother said that she would never want to be on the hot seat in front of her son, his father a retired member of the Indian Army said that he will gladly become a participant on the controversial show.

“I would reveal all truth about my life, except the secrets of the Army if given a chance to be part of the show,” said his father C.L.Khandelwal.

Khandelwal’s father also came down heavily on the politicians who had raised objections against the show, which had become the centre of a raging debate in Parliament.

“Did society get the right message through the many incidents of corruption or the Chand-Fiza episode? The politicians should think of their own flaws before blaming others,” he said. — PTI

Close on the heels of the path breaking deal between Reliance Entertainment and Steven Speilberg’s Dreamworks, one of Hollywood’s biggest screenplay banks, Script P.I.M.P (Pipeline into Motion Pictures), is making its foray into Bollywood.
Chadwick Clough, CEO and founder of Script P.I.M.P told PTI that he has been running a successful script writing company in the US for the last nine years which has grown into one of the largest story banks for screenplays in Los Angeles.

“Over 80 of the writers I have discovered have signed agents and managers, five scripts have been produced into Hollywood feature films and the winner of last year’s competition was recently signed by Warner Bros to write the movie He-Man,” he said.

Clough said he has always kept a keen eye towards the other powerhouse of filmmaking, Mumbai.He said he had researched the Indian screen writing industry and has been contacted by over 100 Indian companies looking for scripts.

“So I knew there is a demand for an organisation like ours and that screen writing in India is maturing to the quality and discipline of international films,” he said.

Script P.I.M.P. has joined hands with ‘ScriptWalla’, a script writing workshop started by well known script writer Kamlesh Pandey and Ben Rekhi from Hollywood. — PTI

Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan on Saturday said that he has high hopes with his upcoming film My Name is Khan and anticipate it to do well internationally thanks to Hollywood’s Fox Studios, which would be distributing the film. The film is set to create a record ahead of its release early next year with Fox Star Studios reportedly buying marketing and distribution rights for around Rs 100 crore.

“I think association with Fox (Fox Star Studios) is going to be wonderful because I think it’s the first Indian film of Indian origin being produced here and trying to release it the way they are doing so hopefully it will do well,” Shah Rukh Khan.The film, co-produced by Karan Johar and Khan, is set against the 9/11 terror attacks and its impact on an Indian Muslim living in the United States. — ANI