ulta pulta

Stylish scamsters
Jaspal Bhatti

BILLU Bakra, a terrorist, came out of jail after serving six years’ of rigorous imprisonment for kidnapping and ransom. Reaching home Billu’s wife, instead of giving him a warm welcome, threw a copy of a newspaper on his face.

"What’s it?" he asked.

"Look, some Raju did a scam of more than Rs 7,000 crore in a company called Satyam and he may go to jail for even less time than you did. What did you get out of that kidnapping? Not more than Rs 50,000! You people neither have any business sense nor crime sense."

Billu Bakra lowered his eyes in shame. After a minute’s silence he said, "I tell you I have more crime sense, but I am not as educated as Ramalinga Raju. Had my parents sent me to a business school, I could have designed a bigger scam. Had I done my MBA from abroad I could have cheated millions instead of kidnapping people for peanuts. Now I realize the importance of education."

Billu’s wife said, "Put the past behind. Start afresh a business. Get me a new branded dress and a diamond necklace. Buy a Mercedes for yourself. Remove this hanky around your neck and dress in stylish clothes. Then everybody will help you in business."

Billu protested, "Now you are making fun of my financial condition. Who will give me a loan for a Mercedes in the first place?"

"Go to any bank," she said.

"But the bank needs to see your balance sheet. I don’t have any money."

His wife replied, "You don’t need actual money. You only need some manipulated figures on paper and some audit report. That’s all."

"What if I am caught?" Billu asked.

"At least then you can go the police station to surrender in a Mercedes car like Raju."





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