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The art of living lies in making your near and dear ones jealous by looking younger than them with the help of cosmetic surgery or behavioural science. Just watch the first signs of old age and nip the ‘evil’ in the bud. But what are those signs? When the names in your phone book are mostly of doctors, you are old. But never put the list of these phone numbers on your wall. If you do, you can write them in code though. For example, if you want to jot down the number of orthopaedic surgeon you can write Bipasha Basu’s name opposite his number. Another sign is when you and your teeth don’t sleep together. To dispel doubts, display your photographs with a full set of artificial denture in the drawing room. To beat off the depression over feeling old, start telling your mates that you dream of Paris Hilton or Priyanka Chopra begging a date with you. One more sign of old age is when the candles cost more than your birthday cake. Never ever fix more than one candle on your cake, declaring that you always believe in the oneness of God. If nothing works — join politics. You will become ageless.
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NEVER
act your age — According to this philosophy of life, concealing your
age rather than acting it, is the best policy. Hundreds of beauty
parlours are functional just to help you conceal the wrinkles around
your eyes. I haven’t come across a single woman, who applies makeup
to look 10-years-older to match her appearance with her weary-looking
husband or to impress her old boss.