WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Surprise gift

On a whim a man decided to get his wife a dozen roses and surprise her after work. The minute he opened the door, his wife took one look at the flowers in his hand and started screaming, “This is the worst day that I have ever had. The kids have been terrible. They got in a food fight, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement, I burned dinner, the dog chewed up my best pair of shoes....And now you’ve got the nerve to come home drunk!

Testing time

Two men applied for the same engineering job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one question. The manager went up to one applicant and said “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the other man the job.” He said “Why sir, we both got nine questions right?” The manager said, “Yeah, but the other man put down on question #5, ‘I don’t know,’ and you put down, ‘Neither do I’.”

Security threat

A woman was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where her husband was stationed in the military.  As she checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked her some standard security questions. “Has anyone given you anything that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked. She told him that her mother-in-law had given her a parcel to take to her son. He looked at her very carefully and asked: “Does she like you?”

Well begun

The psychiatrist waited until the patient became comfortable on the couch, and then said, “Why don’t you start at the beginning?” The patient said, “Okay. In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma