WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Vacation ruined

A guy had just returned from two weeks of vacation. He asked his boss for two more weeks off to get married. "What!" shouted the boss? "I can’t give you more time now. Why didn’t you get married while you were off?" "Are you nuts?" he replied. "That would have ruined my whole vacation."

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.

The mother moazuse says, "BARK!" and the cat runs away. "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?"

Three lunatics attempting to escape from a mental hospital; the first one passes the guard, makes a sound of a cat, and continues.

The second one does exactly the same, meowing like a cat, and gets out, too.

The third, then, passes near the guard and yell, "I’m a cat, too."

Fred was telling his friend how his uncle tried to make a new car for himself.

"So he took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Ford, some tires and fenders from a Plymouth..."

"Holy Cow," interrupted his friend, "What did he end up with?"

And Fred replied, "Two years."

A man asked his wife the other day what she liked best about him. "Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my intellect?"

She replied, "Oh, it’s your sense of humour, dear."

A man sat down and was seriously staring at the marriage certificate, after a long time his wife asked, "What are you looking for?"

He replied, "The expiry date."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma