WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Wrong password

A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password.

"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says. "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password." "Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."

Perfect tense

An English teacher spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors on her students’ written work. She sat at her desk rubbing her temples.

A student asked, "What’s the matter, Madam?" "Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state.

After a slight pause the student tried again... "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter? ...?"

A friend took her dog to the parlour for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged. "I only pay 30 bucks for my own haircut."

The barber replied, "That may be true. But then you don’t bite, do you?"

An irate diner raised his hand to catch the attention of a passing waiter.

"Excuse me," said the man, "but how long have you been working here?"

"About a year," replied the waiter.

"In that case," continued the diner, "it couldn’t have been you who took my order."

Special paint

A husband comes home and sees his wife painting the living room, but she had her raincoat and her fur coat on. He asks her why she has her coats on. She replies, "I read the can, and it said for best results put on two coats."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma