WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Dead cat

A little boy went to school one day and while he was gone, his cat was run over by a truck. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news.

Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don’t worry, the cat is in heaven with God now."

To which the boy replied, "What is God going to do with a dead cat?"

A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

"My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"

"It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."

The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"

The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.

The small boy wrote, "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don’t you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

A woman stays out all night and the next day tells her husband she stayed at a friend’s house. Her husband calls around 10 of her friends and they know nothing about it.

A man stays out all night and the next day tells his wife he stayed at a friend’s house. She calls 10 of his friends, eight confirm that he slept over, two claim he’s still there.

Compiled by Sunil Sharma