Webside Humour
Spellcheck

On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, “I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no ‘I’ in the word ‘marriage’.”

The wife said, “For my part, I have never corrected my husband’s spelling.”

Brave hearts

Three mice are sitting around drinking and boasting about their strengths.

The first mouse says, “Mouse traps, Ha! I do push-ups with the bar”. The second mouse pulls a pill from his pocket, swallows it, and says with a grin “D-Con Rat Poison”.

The third mouse finishes his drink, slams his glass on the table and starts to leave. The first mouse says, “Where do you think you’re going?” “Time to go home and chase the cat.”

Lazybones

A site foreman had 10 very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced.

“Will the laziest man please put his hand up?” Nine hands went up. “Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the 10th man. “Too much trouble,” came the reply.

Cold comfort

It was a terrible bone-chilling night, blowing cold and snow in a most frightful manner when a little old bedraggled man went to a bakery shop and said: “May I have two bagels, please?” 

The baker said in astonishment, “Two bagels? Nothing more?”

“That’s right,” answered the little man. “One for me and one for Sherry.” “And who is Sherry, your wife?” asked the baker. “What do you think,” snapped the man, “that my mother would send me out on a night like this?”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma