WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Golf lesson

ONE day, a grandpa and his grandson go golfing. The young one is really good and the old one is just giving him tips. They are on hole 8 and there is a tree in the way. The grandpa says, "When I was your age, I would hit the ball right over that tree." So, the grandson hits the ball and it bumps against the tree and lands not too far from where it started. "Of course," added the grandpa, "when I was your age, the tree was only 3 feet tall."

Presence of mind

A new army recruit was serving his first guard duty. He did his best for a while but at about 5 a.m., he went to sleep. When he opened his eyes, he found the day officer standing before him.

Remembering the stiff penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this clever young man kept his head bowed for another moment, then looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men!"

While Mark was shopping for pet supplies, one of the salespeople came running up to him. "Mark! Mark! I just saw someone driving off with your BMW!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No," said the clerk, "but don’t worry. I got the license plate number."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma