WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Wrong address

A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in peace." The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this...somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location.’"

A surgeon goes to return some books he borrowed from the library. The librarian quips after checking the books.

"Sir, your books are always returned with the last page missing in every single book."

The surgeon replies, "I can’t stop myself from removing an appendix when ever I see one."

"My little son is too sensitive,"`A0said a mother bringing him to school for the first time. "Don’t worry! We’ll take care of him,"`A0said the teacher.

Added the mother, "If he is naughty, please don’t punish him. Just slap the boy next to him that will frighten him and accomplish your purpose."

A man goes to a shop and asked how much the eggs were. "Sixty cents for the small, 70 cents for the medium, 90 cents for the large and 30 cents for the cracked ones," the shopkeeper answered. "All right," he said, "crack me a dozen of the large ones."