WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Height and length

Two professors of mathematics were staring away at the flagpole in front of the college building. A professor of physics walking by asked, "What seems to be the problem?" "We were wondering," said the mathematicians, "how to measure the height of this flagpole." The professor of physics set about unscrewing the pole from its moorings, laid it on the ground, borrowed a measuring tape and said, "It is exactly 20 feet long," and walked away smoking his pipe.

Staring after the physics professor, one mathematician remarked to the other, "Smart Alec. We wanted to know the height, and he tells us the length."

Free service

The state trooper pulled Schwarz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist`A0that he was going to have to spend the night in jail.`A0`A0

"What’s the charge?" Schwarz demanded. "None," replied the officer. "It’s all part of the service."

A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.

"I’ll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room. The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. "Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes."

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained.

"He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theatre arts.

He communicates really well, and I just act as if I’m listening."

Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken engagement. "Yeah," said Rob, "would you marry someone who didn’t know the meaning of the word faithful, and who was flip and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?"

"No way in hell" said the bartender.
"Well, said Rob, "neither would my fianc`E9e."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma