WEBSIDE HUMOUR
All ears

Pilot: "Have you ever flown in a small plane before?"

Passenger: "No, I have not."

Pilot: "Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears popping."

Pilot (after the plane landed): "Did the gum help?"

Passenger: "Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears."

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together.`A0After the man received the full treatment — shave, manicure,`A0haircut, etc, he placed the boy in the chair.

"I’m going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he`A0said. "I’ll be back in a few minutes."

When the boy’s haircut was done and the man still hadn’t`A0returned, the barber said, "It looks like your daddy forgot`A0all about you."

"That wasn’t my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up,`A0took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna`A0get a free haircut."

On a lonely, moonlit country road, a young man’s car engine started to cough. Immediately pulling over to a scenic little spot, he said to the young lady next to him, "That’s funny, I wonder what that knocking noise was."

"I’ll tell you one thing for sure," said the girl coolly: "It wasn’t an opportunity."

A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers after a billing service launched a number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number.

"I’ve had mine for 20 years," she pleaded. "Couldn’t you change yours?"

The company refused, so she said, "Fine. From now on, I’m going to tell everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full."

The company got a new number the next day.