WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Extra room

THE flight during a business trip was pretty empty. So the pilot made a simple request to the passengers. "We have a little extra room tonight, folks," he said over the PA system. "So if you wouldn’t mind, please take the window seats so that the competition thinks the plane is full."

An old woman tottered into a lawyer’s office and asked for help in arranging a divorce. "A divorce?" asked the unbelieving lawyer. "Tell me, how old are you?" "I’m 84," answered the woman. "Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?" "My husband is 87." , my," said the lawyer, "and how long have you been married?" "Next September will be 62 years." "Married for 62 years? Why would you want a divorce now?" "Because," the woman answered calmly, "enough is enough."

A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations, you have a son."

Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and said, "Hey, what’s the idea? I got here two hours before he did."

"Look at me!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning, I do 50 push-ups, 50 sit-ups and walk two miles. I’m fit as a fiddle" And you want to know why? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t stay up late, and I don’t chase after women." He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I’m going to celebrate my 95th birthday." "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?"

At a pizza parlour, a man ordered a small pizza. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or six.

He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into four pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat six pieces."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma