WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Space talk

Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other. The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons."

The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first spaceman says, "I don’t think so... They have them aimed at themselves."

A cyclone hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping. By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over. The wife was sobbing uncontrollably. "Don’t be scared, Mary," her husband said. "We’re not hurt." Mary continued to cry. "I’m not scared," she said between sobs. "I’m happy... this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together."

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Dave told his friend. "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" his friend suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?" "This is a new age we live in, Dave. Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So Dave went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." "Forget it," said his wife. "I’ve tried that, it didn’t work."

In a management training programme of junior-level executives the leader pounded`A0home his point about the need to make decisions and take`A0action on these decisions.

"For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log`A0and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would`A0you have left on the log?"

The answer from the group was unanimous: "Two."

"Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five`A0because there is a difference between deciding to jump and`A0jumping."

A husband wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway.

"I’ll tell you what,"`A0he told her. "In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you`A0name the boat?"

Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went`A0to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: "For Sale."

A little girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day of birth drew near and the girl overheard arrangements being made for her mother to go to the hospital. She looked at her mother with great puzzlement and said, "Mom, I don’t understand. If they’re going to deliver the baby, why do you have to go to the hospital?"

Compiled by Sunil Sharma