WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Perfect plan

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn’t quite reach it.

The man decided to help the boy. He walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"

The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy."

Lying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will. "I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation." "And that is?"

"In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death."

The lawyer seemed puzzled. "Why make such an unusual request?"

Mr Sams answered, "Because I want someone to be sorry I died."

Frank was madly in love with Susan, but couldn’t gather enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally, he decided to ask her on the telephone.

"Darling," He blurted out, "Will you marry me?"

"Of course, I will, you silly boy," she replied, "Who’s speaking?"

An old man went to a jewellery shop accompanied by a beautiful young woman. The jeweller showed his special stock and said; "Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000."

The young woman’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. On seeing this, the old man said, "We’ll take it."

The jeweller asked how the payment would be made and the old man stated, by cheque. "I know you need to make sure whether my cheque is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

On Monday morning, a very annoyed jeweller phoned the old man. "There’s no money in that account."

"I know," said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

A man wrote a letter to the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income. I have enclosed a check for $200. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest."