WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Brain power

Brian: “Yeah. You don’t need brains to live in New York, but you can’t get along without money”.

Sleeping pills

An exhausted looking lady came to a doctor and said: “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighbourhood. They bark all day and night, and I can’t sleep.”

The doctor said: “Here are some sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”

”Great,” the lady answered, “I’ll try it.”

A few weeks later the lady returned, looking worse than ever. “Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”

”I don’t understand how that could be,” said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills in the market!”

”That may be true,” she answered, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!”

Licence

John accused his wife Jill of having no sense of humour. Jill responded, “You’ve got to be kidding. I even have an official document that says I have a sense of humour.” John said, “What document?” Jill replies, “Our marriage licence.” 

Wife’s idea

“Well, Ted, you’re certainly coming up in the world. What’s the idea of playing golf with not one, but two caddies!”

“Oh, it was my wife’s idea.”

“Your wife?”

“Yeah,” said Ted, “She thought I should spend more time with the kids.”

Bicycle

A four-year-old girl excitedly showed her neighbour the new bicycle her parents had given her. “Wow, that’s a beautiful bicycle.” the neighbour complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” she said, then with a sad face she pouted, “but it’s broken.”
He looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so he asked her, “What’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls down!”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma