WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Honest confession

A schoolteacher’s son brought his report card home. The father said; "let’s see what have you accomplished". He opens the report and to his dismay sees all bad grades. "What do you have to say about this Johnny?" "Well dad, at least you know I’m not cheating."

This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the man’s driving licence, he said, "You’re wearing glasses on your ID and you’re not now. I’ll have to give you a ticket." The guy said, "Officer, I have contacts."

The cop said, "Look, buddy, I don’t care who you know,... I’m giving you a ticket."

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your wife?"

He answered, "Call for backup."

A man’s business trip gets cancelled and he is at home with a rather nervous wife. They go to bed. About midnight, the phone rings.

The man rolls over and answered...

"Hello? What? How the hell should I know, I live in Phoenix".

He hangs up and his wife asks, "Who was it dear?"

"Some idiot who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

In a party, a man who had been married for 66 years was asked about the secret of such a long, happy married life. "Well," he replied, "In our home, the man makes all the big decisions and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" he was asked. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma